Dear Salty Vixen, I think my husband and I need to start communicating with each other better. We have a great marriage, but every time we have a problem it has something to do with the way we communicate with one another. I’m willing to work on my communication skills and he says he is too, so I’m sure we can fix these problems. Any advice for how we can communicate with each other better? Sincerely, I’m Trying to Listen
Salty Vixen’s Advice:
Dear I’m trying to Listen,
Communicating is the key to any relationship and I have some great tips that will help improve and prolong your relationship.
4 Ways to Improve and Prolong Your Relationship by Communicating Better:
1. Face time. Face to face communication is a wonderful method of facilitating understanding — especially when e-mail, cell phones, texting and video are so prevalent. Body language, inflections and tone all become much useful in communicating when you are sitting in the same room with a person. How they choose to dress for a meeting speaks volumes underlying their words.
2. Listen up! It sounds simple, but listening is important. So often people talk and when they stop talking, they’re thinking about what they’re going to say next instead of staying “in the moment” and listening. Looking around is a distraction. computers, social media (especially TikTok!), T.V., passers by, trying to drive and navigate traffic when having an important conversation all take away from intimacy.
3. Be there. Very few people can actually “be in the moment,” and it is often a discipline that requires practice. If you remember something you wished you’d said, call the person up and say it, or write it or text it- another idea, another idea- write a letter. Keeping lines of communication open are important to the process. In addition to thinking of things you should have said, people’s ideas percolate and form over time. New ideas come, and these should also be expressed as they come up or at a later date, rather than not said at all.
4, “Do” calendars. A therapist usually keeps a weekly (or some other) regular schedule with patients. Having regular communication with the friends and family in your life is just as important to emotional growth. Some ways to communicate regularly are regular mealtimes, daily phone calls, or weekend phone calls. Regular Saturday night dates — for singles in relationships and married people. The point is that in order to talk, you have to be together, and in our busy world of commitments, it is important to schedule the time to be together.
