My wife is as avid an Alabama fan as I am a Tennessee fan. The Alabama vs. Tennessee football game is always a tense time in our house. Tennessee had won the last few years, and I hadn’t pushed it too much because I knew that streak wouldn’t last. Also, in the overall series, Alabama is way ahead.
This year, my wife and I were separated on game day due to a situation beyond our control. I knew Alabama would slaughter Tennessee; Tennessee was having a terrible season, while Alabama was ranked #2 in the country. When I talked with her on the phone, I said, “Well, I challenge you to an Alabama vs. Tennessee strip Gin Rummy card game. The Tennessee football team was slaughtered by Alabama, but this Tennessee boy can make you say ‘GO VOLS!'” My wife’s reaction was both humiliating and exciting.
When we finally got together and had the kids settled, she said, “Let’s go up to the bedroom; this Alabama female is going to stomp your male Tennessee ass in a game of strip Gin.” The smile on her face and the wink of her eye told me I was in for a rough game. My wife is really good at cards and can beat me most of the time. This was for the honor of Tennessee, and I wanted to hear this avid Alabama fan say “GO VOLS!”, so I was going to try my hardest.
The first hand was a quick one—Linda won. “Okay, big boy, off with the shirt. I want to look at that hairy chest.” The second hand was the same. This time she said, “And the Tide Rolls On! Take off your pants. We’re getting there fast, aren’t we?”
I won the third hand, which helped me regain some of my confidence, and I said, “Now, the Tennessee male starts his comeback. Take off your shirt, and I think you ought to have to take off the bra, too, if you are wearing one, so I can see your titties.” She replied, “Since this is the only hand you’re going to win, I’ll give you a break and take off my bra too. After all, you are almost stripped; this next hand and you will be.” I was still confident, but my comeback was to be a short-lived one as she easily won the next hand. Everything I played fit right into her hand. With a wink and a smile, she said, “Now take off your panties, little man, and let me look at that dick. Do you want to play some more?” I replied as I took off my underpants, “But, I don’t have any more clothes!” Her reply was, “I know, the Tide has Rolled all over you. This has been a slaughter just like the football game. This next hand will be for your ass. Are you game?”
I thought I might be able to win a few hands in a row and still pull off the win, so I agreed. I lost this hand, too. Linda laughed out loud, winked at me, and said, “I’ve stripped you, and now your ass is mine. I know you want to hear me say GO VOLS and I want to hear you say ROLL TIDE. Let’s play one more hand. If I win, you will say ROLL TIDE whenever I tell you to for the next week. If you win, the same goes for me saying GO VOLS. You can deal.” I said, “Okay, the odds are in my favor, and I would love to hear you say GO VOLS for a week.”
This hand lasted longer because she was holding everything. I discarded the card she was waiting for, and she went out with a flourish. “I love this. I told you this Alabama female would destroy you. I even gave you two chances after you were stripped. Now say it.” I reluctantly said, “ROLL TIDE.” Linda said, “What? I can’t hear you.” So I said it louder.
“Yeah, honey, THIS TIDE JUST ROLLED ALL OVER YOU in cards. Now come over here and see how it’s going to roll over you in another way.” With that, out went the lights, and the tide rolled all over me again. It was all in the cards.
