Anal sex is the least popular sexual practice, yet it can be among the most pleasurable. It is considered taboo my most people because of the idea that it is unclean and painful. In fact, if performed correctly, anal sex can become a regular and gratifying part of one’s sex life.
For men, anal sex is pleasurable because it allows direct stimulation of the prostate, which is located a few inches beyond the rectal wall. For women, pleasure is derived mainly from pressure inside the rectum and from stimulation of the sensitive nerve endings at the anal opening. Also, many people are excited by the idea of engaging in a so-called naughty act.
Anal sex, much like genital sex, can be performed with the mouth, the fingers, the penis, or with a sex toy such as a dildo or vibrator. Specific techniques must be used while performing any form of anal sex to ensure comfort and safety.
Using proper positions is an important part of making anal sex comfortable, since the rectum is not straight, but curved and tilted. The three most pleasant positions for the person receiving anal stimulation are lying on one’s back with one or more pillows underneath the buttocks; “doggie style,” propped up on one’s elbows and knees; and lying on one’s side with legs extended in a scissors position, with the upper leg bent toward the chest and the lower leg relaxing straight down. Whatever position is used, the receiver should be completely relaxed and comfortable.
Cleanliness of the anal area is also important to avoid possible transmission of bacteria. Having a bowel movement, if possible, and bathing shortly before engaging in anal sex are helpful. Anal douching is another consideration.
It is also a good idea to use lubrication for finger stimulation, anal intercourse and penetration with toys, since the rectum does not produce its own lubrication. Although oil-based lubricants, such as Vaseline, work best to ease penetration, they are not compatible with and can damage latex condoms. Condoms should always be used during anal intercourse outside of a strictly monogamous relationship to avoid sexually transmitted diseases. If you must use condoms, a water-based lubricant is the only option.
Techniques
Analingus, known more popularly as rimming, is the practice of stimulating the anus orally with the lips and tongue. If both partners are comfortable with this method, it is probably the best one to begin with for those inexperienced with anal lovemaking because it is the easiest to perform without accidentally causing pain or injury.
The simplest way to introduce rimming is during cunnilingus (oral sex with the vaginal area) or fellatio (oral sex with the penis). During genital stimulation with the lips and tongue, one can continue the same techniques while moving down toward the anus. Some may enjoy a light flicking of the anus with the tongue, a gentle licking around the anal opening or a gentle push on the outside of the anus with the tongue. They may also like a stiff tongue thrust into the rectum, with the tongue probing within. Pressure applied to the entire outside anal area with the tongue is also satisfying for some. Another method is to lick or suck on the perrenium, which is the area between the anus and genitals. Men find this particularly enjoyable because it stimulates the prostate and the testicles.
Particularly satisfying is the method of alternating between anal-oral and genital-oral sex. One might also try rimming while stimulating the genitals with the fingers. Combining genital stimulation with rimming can create an extremely erotic and titillating experience for the receiver that can easily lead to orgasm.
Using fingers to stimulate the anal region requires a bit more care and sensitivity, especially at the beginning. Particularly if one or both partners have never participated in this method, it is best to start out by gently stroking the area with one or two fingers. Gradually, you can move on to more involved stimulation. How you perform anal stimulation with your fingers depends on the gender of your partner.
If your partner is male, a finger can be used to stimulate the prostate. The perrenium can be gently massaged to achieve prostate stimulation or a finger can be inserted into the rectum for direct stimulation of the prostate. The prostate is located toward the front of the body, several inches inside the rectum on the rectal wall nearest the genitals. Finding the prostate with the finger and then very gently pushing on it and massaging it is very pleasurable for most men and can cause orgasm in some. It can also be extremely uncomfortable for others, so use caution if this is the first time for your partner. To make the experience even more pleasurable, you can try performing fellatio on your partner while stimulating his prostate.
Introducing the fingers into the anus with a female partner is most effective during oral-genital sex or while stimulating her genitals with your fingers. Stimulating the clitoris with the tongue while slipping a lubricated finger inside the rectum can create ecstasy for your partner. Or, try stimulating her vagina (preferably her g-spot, if you know where it is) with one or two fingers while using your pinky to penetrate her anus. For an interesting variation, press one finger against the rectal wall nearest her vagina and another finger on the vaginal wall nearest her rectum.
Once you are both comfortable with finger stimulation, you may want to try inserting more than one finger into the rectum. Some people eventually work their way up to fisting, the act of inserting an entire fist (and sometimes even the forearm) into the rectum.
Anal intercourse can be performed with either a penis or a sex toy, such as a dildo or vibrator. This is when anal sex can become very painful if not done properly, so extreme care and time must be taken. It is probably best to begin with some finger stimulation to get your partner used to the feeling and help him or her relax. Using a finger to apply a generous amount of lubrication is a good idea. Make sure to also lubricate the penis or sex toy. Remember to use one of the positions mentioned earlier to ensure proper penetration. The penis or toy must be inserted at the correct angle to avoid discomfort. Then, very slowly and with only slight pressure, insert the penis or toy into the anus about a millimeter at a time. Once the head of the penis is past the sphincter muscles (located about a half an inch into the anus), the rest should slide in fairly easily. Once inside, use a very slight pumping motion or just probe for a bit.
Anal sex does not have to be painful. If you know the proper techniques and use them carefully, you could find anal sex to be among the most enjoyable sexual experiences of your life.
