Dear Salty Vixen, I am curious… why sometimes girls can be so fickle-minded. One day, we are both experiencing a sensual moment, than the next day she’s giving me the cold shoulder for “taking her dignity away” and telling me she’s losing her self-respect. Before we engage in those sensual moments, I ask her if it’s OK to go on, she will reply it’s fine with her. Then two or three days will pass, and she’s telling me those things again. I have my own opinion, but I was wondering if you can give me yours? How do you interpret her attitude? One minute she’s enjoying it, then the next day, she’s driving me nuts. Help please! -Confused Boyfriend
Dear confused boyfriend, Society as a whole can tend to put a lot of emotional pressures and burdens on sex. It sounds probable that she is feeling guilty about having sex, and instead of confronting the feelings she is experiencing, she is lashing out at you. You may want to have a serious talk about sex and each other’s viewpoints. Use this situation as an opportunity to really find out about each other.
She could be worried that you are going to break up with her if the sex is bad. A lot goes on in a woman’s mind and best to talk about it…
If she has a religious background, no doubt she was told, and quite possibly made a commitment not to have premarital sex. It may surprise you how many women still hold guilt when they go against this belief or choice. The other side of the coin is that maybe you’re not doing something she wants. For instance have you both reached climax or been sexually satisfied? If something’s lacking, she could be embarrassed or expect you to “figure it out.” Again, having a serious talk about your sexual relations should be able to alleviate this problem.
XOXO,
