Those of us who had the grave misfortune to grow up in an era before high-speed internet (circa the 1950s) were forced to acquire our teenage "naked people seeing" through the likes of Cinemax movies, HBO late-night series, and the occasional "Red Shoe Diaries" episode during Showtime free previews. As a result, many of us learned about sex entirely through Softcore Porn, BUT, this also means that we picked up a number of handy Softcore sex tricks that those of you who learned about intercourse through Regular Porn (or by actually, you know, having sex) never learned.
On behalf of all Softcore Porn connoisseurs, I impart the entirety of my sexual knowledge unto you fellas and ladies with the following list:
Now get out there and put your newfound knowledge to the test!!! Just be forewarned: I've rarely had my sexual partners stick around for more than one lovemaking session, but that's only because these particular tactics are so successful as to be borderline intimidating, so just be ready for that.
Now get out there, straddle that abdomen, and PAN OVER TO THAT WINDOW!!!
