The female orgasm has been described as elusive for centuries. Over the past 400 years, our knowledge of it has developed quite slowly. With research finally starting to catch up, studies have found there are some important things to take note of if you don’t just want to get her off, but get her off well. And, because 30 percent of dudes think intercourse is the best way for women to orgasm, and only 35 percent of women always or usually orgasm during vaginal sex alone, understanding oral sex is key.
1. Talk to her. You’re never going to know what she likes unless you open the lines of communication. Take the reigns and ask her what she likes, and keep asking her. Studies have found that, when women speak specifically about what they like, they’re six times more likely to be sexually satisfied.
2. Delay gratification. Just being able to get a woman off may seem like an accomplishment, but research suggests the best orgasms come to those who hold off. According to a study in the Journal of Sex Research, men and women build up a far bigger and more intense orgasm if they get close to climaxing and then stop. So if you want to make her moan like never before, get her about 90 percent of the way (asking her to tell you when she’s close), and then pause, slow down and build it back up.
3. Know her cycle. OK, so maybe knowing her menstrual cycle isn’t the sexiest thing you’ve heard all day, but research says it’s a key to giving her a mind-blowing orgasm. A study of 18- to 35-year-old women found that orgasms were the most intense on the 14th day of their menstrual cycles. The reason? Because the clitoris swells by up to 20 percent more than usual on the day they’re ovulating.
4. Know your motions. When you’re going down on her, it’s important to know that not any old lick and flick will do the trick. Every woman is surely different, but according to the research from OMGYES, Indiana University, and the Kinsey Institute, more than half of participants reported liking vertical and circular movements, with about one third liking side-to-side motions. Specifically, more than half of the participants reported liking vertical and circular movements, with about one third liking side-to-side motions.
5. Be mindful of where and how to put pressure. The research from OMGYES, Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute also found that only one in 10 women reported liking firm pressure. This is an important finding to bear in mind, as the clitoris is extremely sensitive, and too much pressure can do the opposite of arousing her. In general, the study found that women preferred clitoral touching around the clitoris, brushing over the clitoris without applying pressure, and labial stimulation. Another study found that 67 percent of women like a technique called layering, in which you stimulate the clitoris through the hood to keep the pressure from being too intense.
6. Switch it up. While consistency is surely the name of the game when it comes to getting her to climax, to truly build up the intensity for a mind-blowing orgasm, the same survey from OMGYES, Indiana University found that two-thirds of women reported liking using different techniques from stopping and starting again, to touching less sensitive areas, to shifting to less intense motions and slowing down.
