Welcome back my fellow Sensual Women. I hope life has treated you well and your pleasures are many.
Before we begin our discussion on getting a man to notice you, you had some homework, remember? I finished mine, did you?
In last month’s column I gave you two assignments. The first assignment was to find a journal of some type to become your Sensual Woman Journal.
I’m so excited about my journal. Just looking at it makes me feel naughty. What did I choose to write my sensual thoughts in? It is one of those black and white composition books we had in primary school. I used to write my spelling words in a notebook just like this and I remember my mother quizzing me from them. Filling it with sensual words now is going to be such a rush. Much more fun than spelling.
The second part of the assignment was to create your happiness list. This is a list of things big and small that make you feel good and help you to smile when your day isn’t going so well. I’d love to know the kinds of things you put on your list, so I thought I’d share part of mine with you. Here is the beginning of my entry:
“My name is Salty Vixen and some things that make me happy are:
hot chocolate
movie night…and a glass of wine
Yellowstone
Mr. Salty Vixen’s hugs
kissing in the rain
drinking sweet wine while watching Sci Fi on Fridays
reading really trashy novels
eating ice cream twice in one day”
My list runs on for three pages and includes all kinds of things, plenty to choose from when my day needs a little lift.
If you haven’t finished your assignments yet, or this is the first time you’ve read my column, have no fear, you can start anytime with your Sensual Woman journal. It is a lot of fun so give it a shot.
Now… back to today’s topic, eye contact.
Often the first way you communicate with someone is through eye contact. You know how it goes; you’re having dinner with a girlfriend and in walks a wonderfully dressed, delicious looking male. You both look at him as he passes by the table, wondering whether he’s available or not.
Well, let your girlfriend look for the ring while you try to catch his eye. If she spies a ring or some other sign of attachment, you can be sure she’ll sigh and say, “Nope, he’s already taken.”
The first thing you need to do is to get him to notice you. The best way to do that has nothing to do with your eyes; it has to do with your appearance.
Rule #1: Always dress to be noticed.
I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t mean expose your breasts to the nipples or bare your thighs to panty level – though those things will definitely get you noticed. We aren’t looking for that kind of attention; we want him looking a little bit higher, at least right now.
What it does mean is you should wear something that flatters you and something that makes you stand out. Perhaps it is a certain color that a lot of people can’t wear, or maybe you have developed a distinctive style to the clothes you wear. Let’s face it, everyone knocks around in tight jeans and short shorts these days. They aren’t very arousing when everyone is wearing them, even women who shouldn’t be. So try something different.
What about a dress? You don’t often see them anymore. A nice simple dress in a solid color or tasteful print is one of the most elegant fashion statements and can be purchased without breaking the budget. They also rarely go out of style. Or how about a cashmere sweater twin set in a brighter color with a slim black skirt? Also very classic and rarely seen these days.
The possibilities are endless, just make sure you glance in the mirror before you go out man-hunting. You want him to notice you for the right reasons.
OK, so he’s looked your way as he passed by because you’ve got this smashing lilac number on that makes your eyes look really blue. What do you do next?
Rule #2: Make direct eye contact until you see some type of indication he’s aware that you are looking at him.
Yes, direct eye contact. Staring him right in the bright baby blues. Or soft chocolate browns. Or deep sea greens or whatever wonderful color his eyes are.
How will you know he has noticed that you are looking? Perhaps he will give a slight smile, or he will hold your gaze as he walks to his table or talks with the waiter. Sometimes men will look away and then look back to make sure you really were looking at them. Men are no different than women; we all have the same basic reactions when we think someone is checking us out.
What happens if there is no reaction? Keep looking. Perhaps wait until he is seated and try again. Maybe run to the ladies room which takes you right past his table. Drop a napkin, or spill a little water – anything to get you noticed and have him look at you.
If you really want him, keep trying. If nothing seems to work, perhaps he has noticed and isn’t interested, or perhaps he has really poor vision. Write him off and choose some other fine bit of man.
But what if he does notice? What if he looks away and then looks back and holds your gaze?
Rule #3: Once mutual eye contact has been established, smile and look back often. Make sure there is no question in his mind that you are interested in him.
Great for you, he’s sneaking looks at you between sips of wine and throwing you a small smile every now and then. He’s hooked and now you need to move beyond eye contact to the next step: flirting. Oh yes, the delicate play between women and men that can lead to anything, and everything.
But wait my sensual friend, before we get to the delicious topic of flirting you have an assignment for your journal.
Assignment 3: Find an outfit or two that will get you noticed and describe them in your journal. Put them on and write down how they make you feel. Perhaps take a photo of yourself wearing your favorite frock and paste it in the journal.
I know I have a few things in my closet that make me feel really sensual when I put them on and when you feel sensual, you look sensual. To feel attractive in her own skin is the most powerful thing a woman can do to boost her sensuality level. Believe me, if you feel sensual… men will notice.
So, get into that closet and find something amazing or better yet, make a trip to the shops and treat yourself to something new. Take along a friend and help her find a sensual outfit too.
Next time we’ll talk about “Flirting with Finesse” so you know exactly what to do with that man when you’ve got him hooked.
Until then, expect pleasure!
XOXO
