Dumbass & Amusing news Around the World Daily Roundup 4/25

Dumbass & Amusing news Around the World Daily Roundup 4/25 – oh the facepalm for the news today. And did you know Joe Biden is running for president again? facepalm moment…

Man tries to escape the coming revolution by stealing out-of-service Puget Sound ferry, fails at both (mynorthwest.com)

There was a secret Russian UFO program that had ‘contacted aliens’ where the aliens even beamed back pictures to the Soviets. Since this is British tabloid saying so you can now believe in aliens. BELIEVE (possible nsfw content on page) (DailyStar.co.uk)

62 year old man claims he doesn’t know how 1/2 ounce of meth ended up in his sock and the pants he’s wearing aren’t his so that isn’t his crack. Could have gotten away with it if he hadn’t stopped at imaginary stop sign in front of police (northcentralpa.com)

Another non-drag queen arrested for trying to trade sex with 7-year-old for Hershey bar and Ariel doll. What’s that? He has a background in religious studies? You don’t say? (thedailybeast.com)

Santa Clarita In-N-Out hosts an impromptu episode of “Jerry Springer” (abc7.com)

Here us how not to use the serial, or Oxford comma. Unless your intention is to take us back in time (wtaj.com)

Bolivian Marching Powder has been replaced by Guatemalan Chili Powder (thesmokinggun.com)

Cancel culture at Fox News brings a sudden end to segments on sex-crazed pandas (axios.com)

If you’re going to claim you were stomping on the brake to stop from crashing your car through the front of an Apple store, remember that modern cars have data recorders that will show if you are lying about that (cnn.com)

Not news: A freighter runs aground. LOL: In the exact same spot it ran aground a year earlier (mlive.com)

Tonight on MAXIMUM AMERICAN TOURIST, a woman with unusual jewelry visits Australia and hilarity ensues (CNN.com)

Lead man is so dense. How dense is he? He’s so dense, he got himself arrested for the second time in one day after calling the police on himself (nwestiowa.om)

Even vampires are hopping on the reusable straw bandwagon and want to treat you like a human Capri Sun (masslive.com)

Man uses ATM glitch to blow $1.6 million on drinking, exotic vacations, and lavish parties. The rest he just wasted. Also, the idiot turned himself in (binsider.bond)