Nobody likes to be told they are doing something wrong -- especially during sex, a time when a person is at their most vulnerable. Critiquing your girl during sex should be treated very delicately, but if she’s doing something that you don’t enjoy, you don’t have to grin and bear it.
Getting what you want in the bedroom shouldn’t be a hassle. It might come as an embarrassing shock to her to find out that she falls short on some occasions, but by employing some of our tactics on how to give her sex advice, you’ll be on the road to much more and far better sex.
When it comes to giving her sex advice, the way you handle your role as participant and teacher will set the tone for future erotic engagements. Learning how to be inoffensive and encouraging is key.
Here’s our guide on how to give her sex advice.
Ask for what you want
Tell her what you do like, instead of what you don’t like. Say, “I love it when you ….” or “When you do this, it blows my mind.” Indirectly critiquing her techniques by putting a positive spin on things is the easiest way to get exactly what you want. Most women are starved for positive reinforcement, so a little bit goes a long way and greatly endears the giver to the receiver.
Show her what you want
Be directive, not pushy -- she’ll get the message through your body language. Just make sure not to “show” her things she wouldn’t do on her own, like anal play. Make it sexy and not like you’re using her as a means to your end; she needs to feel a part of the experience, not like she’s being trained to be your sex slave.
Encourage her
If you’re not making any noises to affirm that she’s touching you in all the right ways, she’ll assume she’s doing something wrong -- even if that’s not necessarily the case. In trying to give her sex advice, encourage her with your moans, groans and sighs. Combine this technique with other methods and soon enough you’ll have greater working knowledge of each other’s bodies, and intuition will eventually play a bigger part in your lovemaking.
Influence her with dirty talk
When you’re both hot and bothered and you’d like something done differently, tell her with dirty talk. If she understands that what she’s doing is spot-on, but you want a little something extra to enhance the moment, she’ll probably be more than happy to oblige. Don’t push your luck, though -- you don’t have to go overboard with the talk; a sexy voice in her ear saying “I want you to **** me harder” as if you should die of desire should she not oblige you this instant should do the trick nicely
Learn about each other
Plan an “educational sex date” with her so you can learn more about her body and what she likes, and vice versa. If you want to give her sex advice, put an experimental slant on it and her mind will immediately spring to a couple of things she wouldn’t mind doing differently. Setting a prearranged learning environment means she is encouraged by you to share her desires, likes and dislikes, and you can do the same. Creating your own sex ed class gives you the perfect opportunity to try new things in a safe and honest environment, and will enhance your sex life and relationship.
never ever…
- Use past partners to illustrate what you want her to do.
- Force her to do something; head-pushing is juvenile and offensive, putting her hands in places may or may not work in your favor, and “oops wrong hole!” is completely inexcusable.
- Look disappointed, be selfish, get angry or frustrated, be rude or disrespectful; if you do, you can guarantee that this will be the last time she bothers doing anything nice for you.
- Be demanding; she is a modern woman, and doesn’t want to be dictated to by you... unless you’re playing dominating games, or you know she likes it.
- Tell her she is bad at anything she is doing; instead, use positive reinforcement.
Sex Ed:
Being straightforward and honest will get you far when it comes to giving her sex advice. If you want her to do something differently, for goodness’ sake, tell her. Use positive reinforcement, communicate with your partner about what you like and don’t like, and keep it sweet, light, humorous, cheeky, and sexy. Nobody is great at everything, and practice enables us all to go further, for longer. Don’t ever sit back and accept something you don’t like just because you are too scared to say something -- if you know how to approach it, you can tell her anything.
Remember: Couples who communicate have far more and far better sex than couples who don’t.
