It has been called spanking the monkey, pulling the rope, playing the skin flute, spanking the salami, the five knuckle shuffle and even a hand sandwich. It has been blamed for blindness, hairy palms and perversion, among other things. It is male masturbation. And for many it has become more than just a teenage boy’s rite of passage; it has become a sort of art form that can be performed in countless ways to achieve solo ecstasy.
If you are a guy who has used the same basic palm-to-the-sky, hand-wrapped-around-the-penis “jack-off” grip ever since your masturbating days began, you ain’t seen – or felt – nothing yet.
Not only is there a number of different masturbation strokes and techniques to choose from, but you can also incorporate objects and even toys into your game of sexual solitaire.
Many of the more creative grips derive from the basic ones, so here is a brief description of the four most common hand positions:
The Fist
This is the status quo of masturbation grips. It is usually done when you are lying down and your erect penis is resting against your stomach. Then you simply reach down with one hand, wrap your fingers around your penis much like you’re making a fist and rub your hand up and down the length of your penis.
The Four-Finger
In this position, you also lay down, but you grab your penis with one hand at an angle. Place your thumb on the underside of your penis and your four fingers on top of the shaft. Then move your hand up and down.
The One-Finger
This grip is great for a guy who has a smaller than average penis. Knowing how sensitive men are about their members, this will be described in the third, rather than second, person. In a lying position, the guy places his thumb underneath the shaft of his penis and his index finger on top. It is the same type of grip used to hold a pencil (no offense, guys). Then the guy just slides his finger and thumb up and down the shaft.
The Backhand
It isn’t just for tennis anymore. This is a little awkward, but effective. This grip is sort of a reverse fist. Lying down, grab your penis with your thumb pointing down, toward your balls instead of toward your stomach. Your four fingers are still wrapped around your penis in a fist, but they are rotated more to the side than to the top of the shaft. It is as if you are trying to pull your penis toward you.
Now that you have the basics mastered (pardon the pun), you can move on to more creative maneuvers. For most, if not all, of these you will need some sort of lubricant, depending on your personal comfort level.
The Rub
Ever think of not using your hands at all while masturbating? This technique keeps you hands-free while giving you direct and intense penile stimulation. Simply lay on your stomach and rub your body and penis against your bed or couch. Ejaculating this way is going to be messy, so you may want to put a towel down first. But the position is great for simulating actual sexual intercourse.
Kneeling Position
Kneel as if you are going to pray (how ironic). Now lean back onto your heels. From this position, grab your penis and use whatever basic grip you choose to stroke your shaft while using your other hand to stimulate your balls.
Two-Hander (aka The Clarinet)
Wrap both hands around your penis, one stacked on top of the other using only the thumb, index finger and middle finger of each hand, as if you are playing a musical instrument, such as the clarinet. You will place your thumbs on the bottom side of your penis and your fingers on the top of your shaft. Move your fingers and thumbs up and down.
Slapping or Spanking
Slap your penis back and forth between both hands or against your stomach.
Pumping
Wrap one hand over the top of your penis and the other hand around the bottom of your penis. Then use a pumping motion instead of stroking.
Vibrators
Yes! Men can use them, too! Stimulate your entire penis with a vibrator by sliding it along your shaft or use one to stimulate your anus while you stroke your penis.
Shower Head
Point a fully spraying hand-held showerhead at your glans (the area on the underside of your penis between the head and the shaft). Then spray the water along the entire length of your penis.
If you’re a beginner and you are not comfortable with trying the more creative techniques, start with the basics and work your way up. But if you’re an old hand at masturbating, why not try one or more of these inventive maneuvers to spice up your solo sex life a bit? The more you change your routine, the more likely you will be to start using your imagination and making up your own techniques. Not only will masturbation be more satisfying for you, sex with your partner will probably benefit from your newfound skills.
