Funny news with Audio- Though former CIA Deputy Director Allen Dulles may be known for his various controversies, the intelligence icon found himself in hot water — or should we say hot air — yet again as several speculate whether audiobook narrator Peter Altschuler ripped a— while recording his biography.
Artist Rory Blank — a.k.a. @BoneJail — headed to Twitter with the observation on Wednesday, claiming that he heard what he believed to be a fart while listening to an audiobook of David Talbot’s 2015 book on Dulles’ CIA reign. **
“The Audible audiobook for The Devil's Chessboard: Allen Dulles, the CIA, and the Rise of America's Secret Government has a loud and wet fart sound about 38 and a half minutes into chapter 4,” he captioned a clip of the alleged gas. You have to turn up the sound to hear it towards the end of the clip:
The Audible audiobook for The Devil's Chessboard: Allen Dulles, the CIA, and the Rise of America's Secret Government has a loud and wet fart sound about 38 and a half minutes into chapter 4 pic.twitter.com/6jc64HSZNR
— Rory Blank (@BoneJail) December 21, 2023
Like anything fart-related on Twitter, the post quickly went viral, sparking the hasty invention of a Central Intelligence A-gas-cy determined to get to the bottom — pun very much intended — of this audiobook anomaly.
“Little known fact: Foster Dulles had terrible gas,” joked @ObscureCliches, as @arrobid noted that the faint fart noise was“actually in the paperback too.”
Meanwhile, @snapdeus speculated that purported windbreaking was more than just a mistake, rather, a part of a government PsyOp. “The CIA will often insert this kind of material to books they find threatening to ‘clown on the rats,’” they wrote.
Apparently this is real, though audiobook narrator Peter Altschuler denies that such was the case. More soon. https://t.co/4MvoqXxxNe pic.twitter.com/0geKqdpU0d
— Carly Tennes (@TennesAnyone) December 21, 2023
As the speculation quickly spread throughout Twitter like a fart on an airplane, Altschuler decided to set the record straight, by saying the clip was just hot air.
“The clip you sent is, on my systems, devoid of anything except my voice,” the voiceover artist wrote in an email.
“The fact that anyone would think that there was something there — and that it was worth posting on social media — is one of those human character mysteries that will forever defy understanding,” he continued, commending the artist for “listening to something worthwhile.”
Yet even if Altschuler did let one slip while recounting the former CIA director’s reign, he explained, such a sound would never slip past the audiobook’s editors.
“I can assure you that any extraneous noise would never have made it into a final recording,” he added. “If anything happens during the recording session, that section is re-recorded. If anything is noticed during post-production, I’d have been asked to do a pick-up of that text.”
While the Twitterverse may never know what caused that strange noise to appear during that fateful fourth chapter — to paraphrase Kris Jenner, this is a case for the CIA — we’re just thankful that the e-book industry has yet to invent literary smell-o-vision.
