They had been lovers for some seven months; beginning with a meeting under the most unusual circumstances his inventive mind had created.
His first approach, indeed, the very first thing he suggested to her, was to propose that their initial meeting be in a darkened hotel room, without ever having seen one another beforehand, to undress and make love and then part without ever seeing one another’s face. She had been quick to dismiss the idea as dangerous and foolhardy – except that she wanted to know more about a mind that could conceive of something so deliciously erotic.
So she carried on talking to him over the online service where they had found one another, dangling the possibility that they might in fact carry out his plan. The more she talked to him, the more she realized that this was anything but a device to get someone into his bed – in fact it served as a screening process, to ensure that any woman who could not match his erotic nature would reject him out of hand. Since she was not rejecting him out of hand, she realized his complex and creative nature might well satisfy her own capacity for sensual exploration.
Her first reply to him had been equally as calculated. She described, in exquisitely graphic detail, a scenario that required him to be open to role reversal, to relinquish control, and to allow himself to be used for her pleasure. A less confident man would recoil at what she suggested – but instead he was delighted at her ability to so clearly say what she wanted, and thrilled at the thought of them together probing the mental boundaries of their sexuality together, as well as probing a few unexplored physical areas.
They continued e-mailing and messaging, discovering one another’s personalities. His original proposition had been that they should know all about one another – likes, dislikes, where they lived, worked, what they did with their spare time. Everything, in fact, but what the other person looked like. So true to his plan was he that he never bothered to look at the details of her online profile, which described her stature and other significant features about her physical appearance. At first, she was curious about his description, and she asked him some general questions. She realized from this that he would answer her questions and even give her the opportunity to see him, but he would not waver from his goal of knowing nothing until he held her – a hint at the kind of control he could exercise to raise the level of their mutual arousal.
In time, they had discovered that each had a tremendous capacity to spur the other on, and this only served to increase the sexual tension between them. He proved to be able to capture the essence of any number of different scenarios, and to put them into words in a way which made her feel weak and unable to resist. He had a gift for description, and could paint vivid pictures in her mind; when he talked about his tongue circling her nipples they hardened as she read. When he described how he would taste her slippery juices, she became wet as if to feed him, and when he talked about poising his hardness at her lips to enter she could feel him filling her and opened to receive him.
Proving to be equally as willing and able an accomplice, she regularly startled him with her ability to seize on the exact thing that most excited him in their conversation and reflect it back to him in a way that multiplied his desire for her. Knowing that at work he almost constantly received e-mail messages, she delighted in finding out his schedule and then waiting until she knew he was in a meeting before sending him the most suggestive or most explicit messages she could invent. She knew that it would arouse him, making his mind wander to her and destroy his concentration during his meeting. She knew it left him responding to her physically and emotionally while feigning interest in whatever subject on which he was supposed to be offering meaningful comment.
The obvious next step was to see whether the communication on the screen translated into communication one on one. So many times, she thought, someone would be outgoing and extroverted online only to become tongue-tied and shy when unable to have a minute or two to compose and polish a reply. But eventually, as they both knew they must, they connected by phone to see if they communicated as well when not protected by the anonymity of e-mail.
One day, after numerous e-mail messages back and forth, which served to bring both of them to the edge, they agreed to talk. They took their hands off the keyboard at the exact same moment, rose from their seat and walked over to close and lock their respective office doors. As she was walking back to her desk, he was already dialing. Their conversation started somewhat hesitantly, both of them taking in the sound of one another’s voices, but soon they relaxed, the inhibitions fell away, and the words flowed freely, and, soon after, they did as well.
With that, they knew that they had to have one another, and she was coming to realize that with each message exchanged, with each conversation, the improbable was becoming the irresistible, and that she would certainly meet him in that darkened room.
That night he arranged to leave an envelope under the hotel room door, with a corner showing for her to grasp. Then he prepared the room, making it as dark as possible, arranging the furniture as conveniently as possible, and letting a bottle of wine breathe between two glasses until her arrival. He lay on the bed, his mind racing, his body tingling, until he heard the envelope slide under the door and the key slip through the lock.
The room flooded with light from the corridor, so she could see where to walk, but he remained on the bed, hidden by a wall from her view. She closed the door, returning the room to complete, total, utter darkness. And she heard his voice live for the first time mere feet away with no telephone line between them.
“Put your things down on the floor near the table.”
She complied, and heard him moving towards her, standing close enough now to touch. She could feel his presence, the scent of his cologne mixed with his own scent in the air.
“Hold your hand out in front of you – I’ll pour you a glass of wine” he said, and she did as instructed. He reached out and touched her skin for the first time, tracing the shape of her hand with his fingertips before placing the stem of the wineglass in her hand and wrapping her fingers around it.
As she took the first sip, she could feel her heart pounding – had she just made the worst mistake of her entire life? She felt herself go dizzy and took a step back. Feeling the edge of the chair against her legs, she sat down...hard! “What have you put in my drink?”
“In your drink? I promise, there’s nothing in your drink. Do you want me to taste it?” Although that was exactly what she wanted him to do, how could she make sure that he really did drink it here in the darkness? She held on to her wineglass and felt him place his hand over hers, bring the glass to his lips, take a nice big sip and swallow.
She’d had a scenario prepared, something she wanted - no, needed - to tell him at the outset and this was the perfect moment. You see, even though she’d always been a risk taker, this was probably the craziest thing she’d ever done… and because, in fact, she was far from crazy, she said, in a sombre voice: “Someone knows exactly where I am, and who you are, and will call the police if they don’t hear from me first thing tomorrow morning. I hope you’ll understand why I did that”.
His reply was simple, “Of course, I understand… and I’m glad you did that, it was the right thing to do. You should feel safe. If you don’t feel comfortable with this, you’re still free to leave.”
His words had the strange effect of both comforting and arousing her. His endorsement showed that he had no intention of doing anything to harm her, yet it aroused her because she knew full well what was implied if she stayed.
You see, they had agreed that she would put herself in his hands, to submit as he desired, with only two words which would have any effect on what he was doing – one to have him ease back, the other, to make him stop.
“I want you to relax, to be open to everything and anything we may do together here. By the end of this evening, we will have each other in ways we have only imagined,” he said. She knew then that not only was leaving out of the question, it had never been an option. For even though she was still quite nervous, she had never - ever - in all of her years, felt so vibrant...so alive!
He commanded her to stand, arms at her sides, and be still. She did so, breathing deeply, and he began to learn the contours of her body with his hands. His fingers traced the outline of her shoulders, down her arms. They rested lightly on her hips for a second before slipping around behind her to squeeze her bottom gently but oh so firmly … then his hands came around and danced across her breasts.
“Harder please!” she thought to herself.
Then his hand went to the back of her neck and pulled her lips roughly onto his. He kissed her hard, not allowing her to move away even if she had wanted to. His arm went around her and pulled her tight against his body, his other hand dropped to her ass and pulled her so she was straddling his leg, thrust forward to press up against her mound. They remained locked like this for a several seconds, and then he backed his body away from her while their mouths were still together, tongues dancing. She felt her whole body cry out to press against him again, but as she moved to him he broke the kiss.
“Not until I say so,” he said.
She felt herself trembling and melting inside, all wet heat at her centre. It was a phrase she would hear often in the future.
Now his hands moved to her breasts. He'd never revealed his vision of his ideal woman, but the one thing she did know he loved were hard responsive nipples. His hands cupped her luscious soft globes, learning them by touch, by their sheer feel. Then his hands moved to her nipples, and his thumbs began circling them through her sweater and bra, slow lazy circles until he'd teased them to be fully stiff and erect. Now his fingers sought her nipples out, pinching them, stretching them taut away from her chest. The guttural sounds coming from his throat told her that he was taking animal pleasure from what he was doing, but she could stand no more and said the private word to have him ease back – and he did, instantly, replacing the intense stimulation with soft caresses.
And this characterized exactly what would happen between them from that moment on – a willingness to submit, and the secure knowledge that there was always an exit point if it became too much.
She spent many hours with him in the dark room that night… as if in a dream. Never was a light turned on, not even a candle, and he’d done such a good job of making sure the room was utterly dark that their eyes never got accustomed to it. Like blind people, they could go forward only by touch and smell and taste.
It’s quite amazing, really, how the other senses are heightened by the loss of one.
And when came the time for her, sadly, to leave, she went into the bathroom. Then, and only then did he turn on the light to gather her things and clothing, which he spread neatly on the bed. And only after he turned off the lights did she come out of the bathroom… to dress in the darkness while they softly spoke, touching now and again, wanting more but willing themselves to be patient.
And he retired to the darkness behind the wall as she opened the door on the light of the hallway to leave. She found herself hurrying out of the hotel. After all, she couldn't wait to meet him online, and tell him every detail of what happened to her.
