Life can appear random and meaningless, hence the appeal of systems of divination like astrology. There is a correspondence between Above and Below, between the movements of celestial bodies and our experiences on Earth, so much so that we can make a good guess of the hows and whys behind a Scorpio man's brooding and withdrawal. It's amazing -- isn't it? -- that you can know so much about someone by knowing which zodiac sign the Sun was in (along the ecliptic) at the moment of their birth.
We study astrology books and learn how to read natal charts, or just defer to those who have, to gain knowledge of the inner workings of other people. Yet, to what purpose?
Pain and Loss
Infants are in a symbiotic stage of development, in which they experience a parental figure and themselves as a single unit. They are essentially egoless (or that is what conventional psychology teaches about human development -- recent studies have been showing that infants are a lot more aware than we think.) They have needs, and if their parent is "good enough," they experience their needs as being magically met, and they feel that the world is safe. If their needs are not adequately met, they grow up feeling the world is not a safe place. (This is a Saturn-Moon issue.)
As we grow and develop language, we consciously learn that our needs will not always be met, but the formative years of our development have an impact on how we deal with this universal truth. We develop frustration tolerance, recognizing that we can survive emotionally without acquiring the objects of our desire. Or, we have a big black hole, and feel that if we do not get what we want, we will feel perpetually empty and alone.
Control
As adults, we always have this inner child, wanting, craving, desiring. Oftentimes, we want relationships. A "something" and a "someone" become interchangeable. A man or woman we love or like becomes the "object" of our desires or affections. We want to own them. "How do I get this guy?" Just as when we were toddlers and experienced frustration when we could not reach the cookie jar or when mom took a toy away from us, we -- as adults -- see people as things to acquire. The problem is that people have wills of their own, and toys and cookies do not.
Although we logically know this, another part thinks that with the right knowledge and skill set, we can get who we want. A child will learn that if she brings the stool to the edge of the kitchen counter, she will be able to climb up and reach the cookie jar. As adults, we approach astrology as the stool. We still have to do the work, but our understanding of the zodiac empowers us to get our cookies.
Or so we think. We can control our environments by moving furniture around and utilizing tools, but we cannot control other people. It is true that we can manipulate other people through our understanding of human nature, and that astrology can be an effective tool to help us understand how people tick, but ultimately our cookies have legs and can walk away.
How to get any man!
I have a problem with questions like "How do I get a [zodiac sign] man to do so-and-so?" and I feel hypocritical that I have answered these questions before on my blog, and that I may even answer them in the future. I don't think there's anything wrong with using our understanding of human nature -- with the help of astrology -- to "meet" them. (By "meet," I mean connect. For example, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) teaches that if you want to best reach someone who processes information auditorially, you say "sounds like..." If someone processes information visually, you say "looks like." You are simply speaking to them in their language. The same can be said for earth, water, air or fire signs. You can best connect with them by "speaking" in the language of their element). But all this does is help them feel understood. When someone feels understood, they are more likely to hold you in good esteem. It's called mirroring, like when a mother repeats back an infant's facial expressions and puts a name to them. Some adults who didn't get enough of this may even think they are in love with you because they feel "seen" by you, and they get very little of that in their life.
There is a difference between using another person's "language" to connect with them, and strategically taking actions to get them to do what you want. I'm a Pisces man, and I could tell you that if I were single and you wanted to plan the perfect date for me, you'd suggest we get sushi and then see a movie and then go dancing. But it's not going to make a difference if you don't "meet" me on a core level. It's just actions. It's empty.
Ultimately, astrology can be used interpersonally to help you listen and communicate. That's where relationships happen. You may be able to get a man in bed or on a first date if you use well-worn tactics to seduce the zodiac sign of your choice, but it's not going to go deeper than that if you don't connect on an emotional level.
