Dear Salty Vixen, I have this guy friend that I have been a friend with for about three years. I see a lot of chemistry going on between us because when we hang out, we snuggle. The way he hugs me always makes me feel that butterfly feeling that I can’t describe. I finally had the guts to ask him out after like two years.
He said right now it would not work out because of his insecurities. So, we snuggled again that night and man I felt calmer then I have ever felt with anyone. It’s like every time we share that time together, afterwards we get distant and then he has a new girlfriend. He has said he is afraid of losing our friendship, and then I have to deny what I felt. I wish he wouldn’t. Is he in denial? -Wanting More Than Friendship
Dear Wanting More Than Friendship,
To hang your hope on a dream that most likely won’t come true is wasting valuable time and energy. You can’t sit around like a lost puppy dog waiting for a bone to be thrown to you. In addition, it’s not very wise to let him use you as his in-between shoulder to cry on if it’s not getting you anywhere.
If he really has feelings for you, and you really want to get him interested, you’re going about it all the wrong way. Guys don’t get serious with the lap dog. They marry the challenge; the one that was hard to get. My advice is to put him behind you, at least temporarily, and get busy with your own love life. You can have chemistry with many people, the key is to find the one who returns your affection and is most compatible with you. Expand your social circle and do not settle for a “friendship maybe more” type relationship.
XOXO,
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