12 Signs He Will Be Bad In Bed

Ladies, ever wondered how can you tell how he’s gonna be in bed before fucking? Oh, I’m so glad you asked! Women — and men — the world over have had to learn the hard way (or, as the case may be, the not so hard way) that their new guy doesn’t have it going on between the sheets. Now you can be spared their agony! After the jump, 12 signs you know he’ll be bad in bed (without even taking your clothes off).

1. He still sleeps in a single bed.
2. He has bad breath.
3. He owns “Star Wars” bedding.
4. When he kisses you, the only part of his body that moves is his tongue.
5. He has fuzzy dice or a mini disco ball hanging from the rearview mirror in his car.
6. He can’t maintain eye contact with you.
7. He never misses a day of working out.
8. You’ve been out with him four times and he hasn’t made a move yet.
9. He eats with his fingers.
10. He constantly brags about his sexual prowess.
11. He checks out his reflection in store windows.
12. Three words: puka shell necklace.