Men are visual; it’s why they always want the lights on. Science has proved it and, in the same vein, supported the claim that women are simply complex—what an oxymoron.
But what women want is actually fairly forthright. For droves of them, physicality is not everything. Women want a man brimming with brains and emotional depth to some capacity.
You might not always feel like the total package, or even know what that entails. So we’ve rounded up several personality traits women often seek in serious partners. Now you can emphasize your best qualities and… you know, score!
Having confidence and direction in making decisions is enticing. We’re more likely to go out with the man who says, “Meet me at Ulysses at 8,” than the guy who asks, “Well, where should we go?”
1. Aptitude.
Intelligence goes beyond the books and business acumen. A man who is adept at his craft, be it selling commercial real estate or mixing cocktails, is sexy. Women are captivated by challenge, and he who has the ambition to challenge himself to any level gives us both an opportunity to learn something from him and motivation to challenge ourselves. That’s always a turn-on.
2. Charisma.
Wit and humor are the je ne sais quoi of charm. A man who can laugh at our poorly executed jokes and himself is someone with whom we want to hang. An affable personality in the room eases vibes and makes us feel comfortable being ourselves.
3. Moral Integrity.
People inevitably have disagreements, but a man who can keep an open mind, respect disparities and value constructive debate has the level of maturity that women seek. He knows right from wrong but also understands this his right has the potential to be someone else’s wrong.
4. Emotional Depth.
Honest conversation that goes beyond the surface is critical. Most women are attracted to men who can open up; doing so builds a level of trust that becomes a two-way street.
5. Presence.
We live in a world short-circuited by technology that makes for incessant distractions. So someone who can be consciously connected to the here and now is hugely appreciated. Women look for attentive listeners and communicative partners who express themselves in ways beyond words. Keying in on seemingly insignificant things we’ve said, surprising us or just lending a genuine ear tell us that you’re in it to win it.
6. Equal Parts Finality and Spontaneity.
Having confidence and direction in making decisions is enticing. We’re more likely to go out with the man who says, “Meet me at Ulysses at 8,” than the guy who asks, “Well, where should we go?” We want to spend time with you; it doesn’t matter where. But, of course, we do want and should have input. Rule of thumb: If you ask us out, be direct. We’ll say no if we want; the back-and-forth is just exasperating. If we ask you out, a spontaneous date open for anything is just as attractive.
7. Dependability.
Even if you don’t have children, or don’t plan to, women will gravitate toward a family-oriented man who proves to be a reliable role model—for his nephew, the neighbor’s kid down the street, his brother or the new guy at work. A dependable man is well balanced; he knows how to manage and prioritize work, friends, family and a relationship wisely.
8. Sexual Mastery.
When it comes to the bedroom, most importantly just know: It’s not necessarily finished because you finished. Educate yourself.
