Like many bigirls, Melissa wants to share a girl with her man. Recently, she met a girl online who was intrigued enough by her posting to meet Melissa and her husband for a date. Melissa adored the girl and felt the date went well. When she got home that night, she sent an enthusiastic thank-you email and waited for the response. The girl wrote back saying she enjoyed meeting them both, but realized she may not be ready to be with them sensually.
“What went wrong,” Melissa asked me.
“Maybe it’s your man….” I suggested hesitantly.
SIGNS THAT YOUR MAN IS A DEAL-BREAKER
1. ON THE DATE, HE PAYS MORE ATTENTION TO HER THAN TO YOU
Ladies, the single bigirl that wants to be with a couple, wants to be with a couple in love. What makes your man attractive to her is not how cool or charming he is (although that helps), but how crazy-in-love he is with you. When two people are mad for each other, the bigirl gets to join that circle of love and respect. She doesn’t have to worry that your man will try to contact her behind your back, or that any jealousy will ruin the pleasure of the encounter. The more your man is touching you, complementing you, and loving you, the more the bigirl will trust both of you and want to be intimate with you.
2. HE DISRESPECTS EITHER OF YOU IN CONVERSATION
Some men do not know how to talk to sexually-open girls. They assume that all bigirls are sluts or porn stars, so they do not filter the offensive thoughts that go through their head. If your man tries to engage your potential lover by talking about how he cannot wait to see her “eat you out” or asks, “are you drippin’ wet right now,” he may have just scared her off.
Men, respect bigirls, especially your own woman. Tell the potential lover about your amazing girl; share why you love her madly and completely. The more you love your own woman, the more other bigirls will want to love her with you.
3. HE TOUCHES HER TOO MUCH FOR A FIRST DATE
There is no reason why your man should try and touch your potential lover on a first date. Again, this is about establishing trust and guys who touch girls too soon can really scare them. You should lead the flirtation… You should be the one to reach over and hold the girl’s hand, if it feels like the vibe is right. The man’s role here is to touch and love YOU and support YOU as you flirt with your girl.
4. HE ASSUMES HE GETS TO PENETRATE HER
Just because you are negotiating a threesome, does not mean your potential lover is into being penetrated by your man. Many bigirls are open to being with couples, but not necessarily going the whole way. The less your guy tries to push her into being with him, the more she will trust both of you. He should be into YOUR experience, YOUR exploration, and YOUR happiness. If she wants your man to sleep with her, trust that she will let you know when the time is right.
5. HE PUSHES YOU ALL TO HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW
A first date is not an agreement for sex. Just because you are having a good time, the conversation is flowing, the connection is there, does not mean the bigirl wants to be with the two of you on the first date. Patience is sexy. Let the girl go home and fantasize about being with the two of you. Let the two girls email back and forth a bit more, and get more intimately acquainted. This is also an opportunity for both women to discuss what they would like to have happen during the threesome, and time to establish boundaries.
Waiting for sex makes sex better. Also, girls are more likely to have a more intense sexual encounter if they feel like they know each other and trust one another.
Hope this helps!
XOXO,
