If you make him wait, do you risk losing him? Or do you risk losing him by rushing things? If you are confused, don't worry! Most women are just as confused as you over whether to make their man wait for sex. I will be honest with you- do NOT have sex on the first date!
The problem is, there are simply no rules out there telling us when is the right time. In this day and age, women can often be the aggressor-and if you are just out for a casual fling, sex on a first date may be fine for you. But what if you are looking for something more serious? How long should you wait for sex?
If you are looking for a commitment, having sex too soon may be a relationship-killer. I repeat what I said earlier, having sex on the first date is a no-no. I was on a date with a very handsome Korean man recently. We chatted online, video chatted on the phone, all PG conversations. Although, twice on video chat I picked up (my gut) that all he wanted was a sexting experience to remember. I would end the phone conversations early as a man who is interested in a woman will want to get to know her and not do what I call 'fuck and duck' (hookup).
We had our date and I dressed conservative (the dress is from Amazon located in the image and also the link here. It was a flirty-casual-dress, highly recommend it! A PERFECT date dress! Amazon Link Here). With him being Korean and myself in my early 40s, I was respecting his culture (Korean women are more conservative than the 'western world').
The date was a hit. The body language he gave off, was he wanted to fuck me (and my gut told me twice "he is a stranger. do NOT do it!" - always listen to your gut aka Guardian Angel!). He paid the bill, we left and we hugged three times (Korean's do NOT show PDA's on first date, including hugs..) . I got into the car, confused what the hug was since everything went well. I texted him "I had a great time!" he said "I liked talking to you to! have a great evening!"
After that, he wasn't texting me. In fact, he did what is known as "Korean Ghosting" . He didn't unmatch me on the dating app, he would respond "good morning" to my text but that was it. Finally after three days I asked if he liked me still and his response really pissed me off. He said "I was hoping you would dress like American women, like on tv. Such as tight leggings, low-cut top.. and all I wanted was a hookup"
I responded with "on a first date, a woman should dress casual. without showing their boobs and ass. That is for a later date. If a women dresses showing their boobs and ass, that means hookup. And I made it clear to you I was NOT going to hookup!" The red flags were there, when we were talking, I chose to ignore them, thinking, he hasn't dated an American woman before..but in the end, Korean or American, he is a man and he will think with his penis more than his brain when it comes to women... This story, is like many stories out there, finding that man, finding the future Mr. Salty Vixen has been hard, he is out there!
When trying to figure out when to introduce sex into a new relationship, it is important to always remember that men and women can look at sex in different ways. Women will always have emotions involved. Men, not so much. He may be a player. He may just be out for casual sex. Making him wait for sex is often the best way to ensure the two of you have the same goals for the relationship.
Because of the emotions women bring into any sexual relationship, rushing into sex can often confuse us as to what we truly want in a relationship. Sure, the sex may be great. But a few months from now, you can wake up and realize that is all you have in common. Waiting for sex can allow you to know the guy enough to realize that you are compatible outside the bedroom as well.
Finally, having sex too soon can make the guy wonder whether you do this with every guy. Or he may think you are just into a casual relationship. If he finds out differently later on, he may feel pressured.
In short, making your man wait for sex can allow both of you to get to know each other and to ensure you both have the same goals for your relationship. Rushing it can lead to disappointment for both of you.
