I want you to know it’s about an inch from where you think it is. And nine other things you don’t know about women. And the bonus one is my favorite, that is because this happens to us women a lot. We forgive but never forget.
1. Women are interested in A-list things: A designers, A vacations, A orgasms.
2. Wait, let me rephrase that so there’s no confusion: multiple orgasms.
3. We want you to be true to yourselves. And to us. And not necessarily in that order.
4. No man should ever purchase anything called Follicare. If you’re going bald, then go bald and try to be proud.
5. The secret to getting out of trouble with your girlfriend is being funny. A funny man can be forgiven for anything. (Exceptions: cheating and comb-overs.)
6. We don’t find cigarettes sexy unless they’re in black-and-white movies or dangling from the lips of twenty-year-old Italian men.
7. The vagina is a birth canal. The vulva is a gold mine.
8. The only man who can pull off twelve different kinds of breakfast cereal is Jerry Seinfeld.
9. It might seem strange, but every now and then, check out your backside in the mirror. If you don’t like what you see, chances are we feel the same.
10. The women of the world want you to know that the clitoris is about an inch from where you think it is.
11. BONUS: Don’t lie to us women, when you fuck up on something, us women are like elephants, we never forget and yes we secretly hold a grudge. Especially when you are sexting a woman and lying about it to everyone. Just a thought since this happens OFTEN.
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