As you know, I feel very positively about sex and masturbation in general, but just this once, I thought I should talk a bit about sexual compulsions/addictions.
During your lifetime, it is likely that you will go through phases of intense sexual activity. For example, when you first discover masturbation you might find yourself doing it as often as you can or when you first start a new sexual relationship you might find that you are having sex together as often as you can - these types of behaviours are not considered to be compulsive or sexual addictions.
Dr. Eli Coleman defines compulsive sexual behaviour as behaviour that is driven by anxiety reduction rather than sexual desire.
A compulsive masturbator may start by feeling a lot of anxiety (brought on by work/school/family/life stress), then become preoccupied with thinking about masturbating to relieve the anxiety. They may form a ritual for getting a chance to masturbate (for example, telling your coworkers that you'll meet them for lunch and then sneaking off to the bathroom to jerk off while they wait).
After masturbating they experience temporary relief of their anxiety, but in many cases the compulsive masturbator feels guilty or disgusted with themselves or ashamed of their need (usually due to societal/familial/cultural biases against the behaviour) - which just creates more anxiety and accelerates the cycle.
Compulsive masturbation or masturbation addiction is considered a "nonparaphillic" compulsive sexual behaviour because it is a normal sexual behaviour that has been taken to a compulsive extreme.
Now I don't want you to freak out right now because you masturbate 5 times a week and you're suddenly worried that it's a sign of a problem (it's probably not).
Here are some of the questions that clinicians have used to help identify patients who seem to suffer from a compulsive sexual behaviour:
1. Do you, or others who know you, find that you are overly preoccupied or obsessed with sexual activity (including masturbation)?
2. Do you ever find yourself compelled to engage in sexual activity (including masturbation) in response to stress, anxiety, or depression?
3. Have serious problems developed as a result of your sexual behaviour (including masturbating) - for example, the loss of a job or relationship, sexually transmitted diseases, injuries or illnesses, or sexual offenses?
4. Do you feel guilty or shameful about some of your sexual behaviours?
5. Do you think your pattern of masturbation is excessive, driven, or dangerous?
A yes to any of these questions might indicate a problem with compulsive sexual behaviour.
There is a lot of crap out on the internet about compulsive masturbation and other sexual addictions. I've found websites talking about all kinds of crazy causes for it and most of them tell you that you have to stop masturbating completely because it's a sin/it will ruin your marriage/it's the only way to truly "cure" yourself - which is all pretty much bullshit.
Ideally, the goal is to not give up your sexual addiction entirely (unless it's dangerous to yourself or others), but to manage it. So the compulsive masturbator that I used as an example doesn't have to stop masturbating to be "cured", they just might need to find a different way to manage their anxiety (and save masturbation for recreation). Proper therapy will be a great help (and according to Dr. Coleman, prozac + therapy will be even better) .
I still firmly believe that regular masturbation is healthy, but if it's all you can think about when you're at work, or if you're staying in to play with yourself all the time instead of spending time with friends or family, then you might have a problem and you might want to seek help (preferably from a sex therapist) .
Reference:
Coleman, E. (1995). Treatment of compulsive sexual behaviour. In S.R. Leiblum: R.C. Rosen (Eds.) Case Studies in Sex Therapy (pp. 333-349). New York, NY: The Guilford Press.
