Dear Salty Vixen, I’ve been dating this guy for just over one year now and I’m afraid I’m about to lose him. About two months into the relationship I lied about calling someone and he found out about it. Then, about 3 months ago I lied and said that my friend and I met guys when we went out, but really we didn’t. I just wanted to get a reaction out of him. Then just about a month ago, I text messaged him and told him I had gotten home safe, but then he called me an hour later and I was just arriving home.
So, I didn’t really lie because I was on my way home but I told him I was there and I wasn’t yet. Anyway, this seemed to send him over the edge. He doesn’t feel he can trust me and he thinks this is a pattern that won’t change. I know I’ve been wrong and although the lies haven’t been significant, they have still been lies. I love this man and want to convince him that he means everything to me and that I won’t lie anymore. All three times I had been drunk and that will change. Can you please help me save this relationship?
–Too Many White Lies
Too Many White Lies,
Respect is a key element in a relationship. Once one partner loses respect, it can be difficult to get it back. This person trusted you and the person you said you were. They obviously have strong feelings for you, yet you continue to abuse their trust and respect. If the situation were reversed would you act differently?
You need to decide whether you want to be in a serious relationship or if you’d rather be with someone who enjoys childish games. Being drunk isn’t an excuse. I’m pretty positive if he used the same excuse as a reason for inappropriate behavior you wouldn’t buy it either.
To try and get his interest and respect back for you, you need to do something fairly large to show your change. I would have a serious talk with him and let him know how deeply you feel your remorse. Don’t make excuses for your behavior. Just tell it like it is and trying being honest with yourself and him, for once.
XOXO,
