Dear Salty Vixen, how do I get my girlfriend back when I messed up big time? We had an argument, and then I got so mad I ripped her purse off her arm (ripping and destroying the purse and her shirt ripped too). Now she is scared of me and does not want to be with me. She thought I was going to hit her, but I would never do that. I love her so much. We have been together for 3 years. I need her in my life.
--Out of Control Anger
Out of Control Anger,
It's unfortunate, but your girlfriend has every right to feel the way she does. You said you would never hit her, yet I bet before you lost your temper, you never thought you'd do what you did either. Was what you were angry about worth the end result?
If she agrees, sit down and have a face to face talk with each other. Talk about what triggered it and how bad you feel about the way you reacted. Let her know you're willing to do whatever it takes to handle the problem. The responsible thing to do is agree to go to counseling to learn how to deal with emotional upsets. It might also be a good idea for you both to attend couple's counseling.
However, you do need to realize there is a good chance you might have seriously crossed the line with this person. If that turns out to be true, still go to counseling and try to fix this problem so it doesn't become a problem that carries onto your next relationship.
XOXO,
