3 mins read
Sex humor – we all need to giggle at these facts.
- Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
- Average number of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000
- Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
- Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons
- Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35gallons
- Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
- Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour
- Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
- Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150
- Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
- Average length when erect: 5.1 inches
- Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch
- Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches
- Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)
- Height from court floor to the rim of a basketball hoop:10 feet
- Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall
- Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start excercising, lose weight.
- Foods that improve sex life: oysters, lean meat, seafood, whole grains, wheat germ, chicken fingers from Erie dining hall
- Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%
- Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%
- Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%
- Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2 weeks
- Average # of erections per day for a man: 11
- Average # of erections during the night: 9
- Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches
- The human equvalent: 26 miles (a marathon distance)
- Time it takes the sperm: 2.5 seconds
- Time it takes an average person to complete a marathon: 4 hours
- Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development to ejaculation)
- Shelf life of a hostess twinkie: 7 years
- Cost of a year’s supply of condoms: $100
- Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm
- Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm
- Thickness of plastic wrap: .0127 mm
- # of times condoms are thicker that plastic wrap: almost 6
- In general, the taste of a man’s semen varies with his diet. Some say that the alkaline-based foods (fish and some meats) produce a buttery or fishy taste. Dairy products can create a foul taste; the taste of semen after eating asparagus is said to be the foulest. Acidic fruits and alcohol (except processed liquours) leaves a pleasant sugary taste. Examples: oranges, mangos, kiwi, lemons, grapefruit, limes, Labatt Blue, Honey Brown, etc.
- Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie
- Yes, the penis does shrink in the shower
- It is common for men to wake up with ‘morning wood’, a name for an a.m. erection.
- Blue balls, or the term a man uses when he says his balls will explode if he doesn’t have sex, is totally untrue.

© 2026 Salty Vixen Publishing LLC. All Rights Reserved.
This is an original creative work by Salty Vixen. This story/article, including its characters, plot, and descriptive content, is protected by copyright law. Unauthorized copying, sharing, reposting, or reproduction in any format is strictly prohibited. This content may not be used for AI training, data scraping, machine learning, or any form of artificial intelligence development without explicit written permission from Salty Vixen Publishing LLC. Violators will be pursued to the fullest extent of the law.


