Have you ever wondered why, when people get married, they make their vows before their family, friends and God?
It is because keeping those vows requires work and support! No one ever said marriage is easy… and if they did, they were mistaken!
However, marriage is also wonderful and well worth the effort put into it.
Someone once said that a marriage and a garden are similar in that you can tell when both are well tended. This is indeed true; a well-tended marriage produces beautiful and fulfilling fruit for both partners and their families. This article will give you and your spouse ways of tending your marriage to produce the kind of life giving relationship you desire with Christian marriage advice.
Pray for your Partner
This sounds like over simplified advice for a Christian couple, but there is some real value in it. When you are praying for your partner, you are investing hope for blessings and goodness into them. Have you ever tried to be angry with someone you are praying for?
It sure gets hard to be angry when you are praying, doesn’t it?
Just be sure that when you pray for your partner, you are not praying for their flaws to be fixed. It is possible to pray yourself into negativity by focusing on the things that might anger you and insisting that those be fixed with prayer.
Instead, pray blessings upon your spouse. Consciously seek favor for them. You will find that many of the daily struggles you might be facing are lifted tremendously when they are channeled into prayer.
You will find yourself more willing to love and cherish your partner when you invest love and prayer into your marriage. Encouragement and kindness flow more readily from the lips which whisper prayers than those which utter criticisms.
Consider taking a weeklong pledge to pray every day. Then, extend that pledge each week to support your partner in prayer.
Remember those early Affections
Many couples find that after a few years of marriage, the idiosyncrasies that once attracted them to their partner have become daily annoyances. This is actually a quite common dynamic in most marriages. If left unchecked, it can lead to silent seething and out loud arguments. Over time, this pattern can lead to the utter breakdown of the relationship.
In order to overcome this problem, it is recommended that couples spend time reflecting on the things that initially attracted them to their partner and seeking that perspective in their day to day interactions. What you once found attractive about your mate can always be rekindled.
Some couples find the following exercise helpful:
Every day, make a list of five compliments for your partner, and tell them throughout the day. Whether sending a text during the work day or as flirtatious dinner conversation, find a way to let your partner know what you love about them.
When you find yourself frustrated or annoyed at your partner, pull out the list of five compliments and go over them to balance your frustration. Perspective is everything in marriage.
Drop Passive Aggressive Actions and Adopt a Healthy Style of Communication
Passive aggressive patterns are about as destructive to marriage as an A bomb. Passive aggression sends the message to your spouse that you have been stewing on anger and pondering ways to hurt them.
They breed retaliation and build walls that bar love and open communication. Passive aggressive behavior in marriage can lead to affairs, abuse and divorce.
Conflict happens in every relationship. Some Christian marriage advice counselors even go as far as to say that 90% of them are never resolved. It is how they are handled that makes or breaks a marriage.
Just as you wouldn’t pour vinegar onto your garden plants, you shouldn’t pour anger into your marriage. Keep things in perspective by believing that your spouse has the best intentions. Extend grace along with the benefit of the doubt. Bring things up that need resolution without hostility, from an “I” perspective rather than a “you” perspective.
Instead of accusing and pointing fingers at your spouse, take responsibility for your feelings and seek a solution.
How to Find Resources for Christian Marriage Advice
Christian marriage advice is readily found through sources on the web and Christian organizations. If you and your spouse are seeking ways to build and grow your relationship, consider resources that offer sound advice and viable solutions.
There are many available, but credibility is worth its weight in gold.
