Dear Salty Vixen, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I can’t seem to get beyond two or three dates with a guy. Are there any rules I should know for how to begin dating a new man?
Signed, Need the Rules for Dating A New Man
Salty Vixen's advice: The three most common “dating etiquette” questions I hear from women are the following:
• Can I call him if he hasn’t called me?
• Should I offer to split the bill?
• When is the right time to sleep together?
The simple way to answer all three can be found in one basic, maxim: You can be as modern and liberated as you want when it comes to work, equality, and even relationships, but dating -- that’s a very different ballgame. Here’s why…
Men are, by their very nature, programmed to be the aggressors, the pursuers, and it is your job as a woman to let them follow through with their silly little genetic predisposition. That means: let him call you (if he hasn’t, take the hint and start looking elsewhere), let him be the provider by paying for the date (I like to think of it as a gift we give to them), and last, but certainly not least, do not sleep together until (at least) well into week three. This last one is a real challenge, I know -- but it’s one that can determine whether the guy you’re dating turns into the guy who’s your boyfriend, or even husband. So be strong, wear a chastity belt -- do whatever it is you have to do to keep him wanting more. Believe me…he will!
Now as far as the do’s and don’t for not getting dumped in the first couple of weeks. Here they are:
Don’t:
• Cling - No matter how cool and calm your guy may seem, he’ll invariably freak out if he starts to feel you “need” him. It may be a struggle, but make sure to give him plenty of space, especially in the beginning.
• Sleep with him - It may sound old-fashioned, but it’s also so true. Why would a guy keep seeing you if you give up the one thing he wants more than anything else right away? The answer is: 9 times out of 10, he won’t!
Do:
• Keep him wanting more - This holds true both sexually and beyond. Keep a little of the mystery (and therefore desire) alive by giving him bits and pieces of yourself, not the whole you at once. Let him know that getting to know you is a privilege that you don’t just hand out to anyone. It will simultaneously make him feel special, and show that you’re one confident woman!
• Let him pursue you—You can be as modern and liberated as you want when it comes to work, equality, and even relationships. But dating? Whether you like it or not, that’s a different ballgame. Men are, by their very nature, programmed to be the aggressors, the pursuers, and it is your job as a woman to let them follow through with their silly little genetic predisposition. That means: let him ask you out, let him call, and never be too available. It may sound archaic, but it still works like a charm every time. After all, you can’t fight Mother Nature.
XOXO,
