Dear Salty Vixen, can you give me some advice on how to inject some fun and spontaneity back into our sex life? After fifteen years of marriage, sex is now mechanical and a chore (God forbid!). I am willing to try anything! - Mr. J
Dear Mr. J and Salty Vixen Readers, here is my response:
This may come as a shock, but sex can become boring IF you allow it to end up as a routine procedure. So how do you avoid this? Don’t be afraid to use your imagination! That is why most people say that the brain – not the genitals – is the most important sex organ.
And when you use your imagination, it’s equally important to apply your ‘naughty thoughts’ on your woman’s erogenous zones. It will be like throwing a curve ball, something new and exciting. Erogenous Zones are those unique places in her body that generate sexual arousal when stimulated. And so if you know her erotic zones and apply your lustful imagination on them, you can make having sex with her a whole-body experience instead of just engaging in sex that’s limited to her genitals.
Erogenous zones are also important to know when you are giving her a sexual massage!
Know Her ‘Hot Buttons’
So do you know your woman’s sweet sex spots? Here’s a quick rundown of what they may likely be and what you can do to it during a sexual massage.
Her Breasts.
Ok, no joke you say, her breasts may not be a big erogenous zone secret for you but do you know how to handle them properly during a sexual massage? Most women find men too rough when it comes to fondling their breasts. And more so during sexual massage! So what do you do?
First of all, remember that the goal of a sexual massage is to de-stress while heightening sexual desire. So the general rule is to handle her body with TLC (tender loving care).
When it comes to her breasts, this is what you should do during your sexual massage session: avoid putting your whole hand over her breast. Using your index fingers, lightly press on her nipples as you would press a sensitive buzzer. First use dry fingers, then lick your index fingers and push down again.
The fact that she does not feel anything except your index finger on her nipple will send shivers through her body! And because you’re not touching her anywhere else (avoid any other body contact), her body is still in total relaxation (while her mind is already advancing towards sex).
Now, after about 10 ‘finger presses’, very lightly lick her nipple. Do not overdo this, just give her butterfly licks.
Lightly brush your fingers over the bottom part of her breast and run them up and over the nipples. This drives me mad...and I'm sure it does for most women as well.
Her Armpit.
Another erogenous zone is her armpit. Lick this during the sexual massage and she will feel delirious and lustful! It's primal, it's taboo, it's unexpected. It also feels incredibly erotic!
Do the ‘Dip’
From her upper torso, gently move towards sexually massaging her by doing “The Dip”. Put her arms above her head then position your arms under her shoulder (as if you were embracing her in bed). This position will ‘open’ her body to you. Breathe warmly against her collarbone, kiss the side of each breast and then position your tongue between her breasts.
From this position, lick her all the way down, passing her stomach, belly button, belly and then ending with a quick ‘dip’ between her legs!
Her Foot
It doesn't mean you have a foot fetish to worship her feet which are a very sensitive part of her body. This is the proper position when you start focusing on her feet: have her bend her knees and spread her legs a bit. This vulnerable position will already bring images of sex to her mind.
You then kneel between her legs and lift one of her legs so that you can massage her foot. Put a lot of warm, massage oil on your hands and then slowly knead her feet. At the end of your massage, breathe against the sole of her feet. Your warm breath will both relax and sexually stimulate her.
Her Toes
Toes are often neglected erogenous zones! The proper way to sexually massage toes is this: clean off any oil on and between her toes with a soft, wet and warm towel. Hold her big toe, run your thumb against its sole (out a bit of pressure) and follow through with a quick lick. Do this for each toe. The next step is to slowly and seductively suck each toe!
Her Butt
Have your woman lie on her back. Put some warm oil on your hands and gently massage her ass, kneading lightly. After this, progress to strokes and light caresses. And then just when she’s so relaxed, comfortable or maybe even about to drift off, part her buttocks and run a finger lightly over her anus. Like the armpit, this will be unexpected, and a light tickle will drive her nuts. There are so many nerve endings in that area, and again the taboo factor turns up the volume. The intimacy can also be relationship changing. IF you are extra brave, try analingus (an oral & anal sex act in which a person stimulates the anus of another by using the tongue and lips. It is also called anal–oral contact and anal–oral sex.)by lightly licking her button.
This will send her a sexual charge like no other!
Now that you are both all oiled up and slick, slide up and passionately kiss her. Hopefully with this “Hot Button” therapy, she is excited and completely warmed up, as should you be, and ready to make sweet and sexy love!
