Dear Salty Vixen,
I'm in love with a married man. He also says he is in love with me, but can't seem to leave his wife, what should I do? I love him with all my heart. I believe we are soul mates and have too much in common to just give this up. -Loving A Married Man
Dear Loving A Married Man,
Let's flash forward to ten years from now. You've been married now for about 6 or 7 years. You may be experiencing a few marital problems, but you love your husband and you're willing to work it out. Let's also picture a child or two. You wake up one morning feeling ready to face the day. As you come downstairs, in the house you both purchased and spent time decorating and fixing up together, you see your husband still sitting at the kitchen table. Your heart flutters for some untold reason. You sense something unpleasant is about to happen. As you walk in he tells you that you need to talk. Grabbing your cup of coffee or tea you sit down and brace yourself. He then begins to tell you that for the past few months he has been seeing someone else.
It doesn't make a pretty picture. No matter how much you feel you are in love with him, or vice versa, a marriage is a marriage. You need to let him handle whatever problems he has with his wife before you can even begin to expect having a relationship with him. Naturally he is telling you he can't leave his wife because they've built an entire life around each other together. Marriage is not glorified dating. It is an entire lifestyle.
Everything you do from the time you get married is for the good of the marriage. Your retirements, your life insurance, your children, their education, your house, your cars...there isn't a single thing that isn't affected by it. By saying the words "I do" you're making a commitment to that person. If he isn't able to figure it out on his own, you need to be the grown up here and let him fix his own problems. If you still have doubts, grab a hold of all the affection you feel for him right now, and imagine what it would feel like for him to sit in front of you and tell you he's been seeing someone else.
XOXO...
