Getting Out of the Funk!
Sometimes in the dating process we get in these "funks." Times when we start noticing the person we've been dating hasn't been as responsive as they used to be or that their actions start showing us they can take us or leave us.
It's hard to hear and hard to see because we believe deep down in our hearts that the person we are dating really does care about us and wants to be with us but their actions indicate otherwise.
It's in these "funky" times that we need to stop sitting on our pity pot and start taking some action. By action we're talking positive things that can we can do to get us out of the obsessing and wondering when or if the person we are dating will call.
Jumping back on the dating bandwagon is a good first step when we start feeling like the person we are dating is the only person in the world that can make us happy. Just the notion that this one person can make us happy leaves us in a very vulnerable state. It's only in the getting out around other singles that we can start to see how desirable we really are and how much the world needs to know we exist and are available for dating.
By taking a proactive approach we are creating a momentum of forward dating motion rather than staying stuck in the funk. It's actually this momentum that can carry us thru the funky spots.
Friends and other singles going thru similar situations can be helpful in getting us out of the funk. Their ability to see our situation in a clearer light can shed new light for us on where we stand in relationship to the person we're dating.
And likewise by being a friend to someone else who is in a funk and seeing their situation more clearly we can shed new light on their situation. Knowing that we're not the only ones going thru a funk and knowing that we can help others get out of their funk gives us a sense that things will some how be ok.
And the truth is that the people who don't want to be in our lives won't stay in our lives and the people that want to be in our lives will be our rock. It's so crucial to get clear on which category the people that we have relationship with fall into and then put our energies toward the relationships with people that want to be in our lives.
No one likes to beg and having to convince someone to stay in our lives is a total drag. Better we show them how we want to be treated and then watch what they do. Some will stay and some will go. And it's the ones that leave our lives that we can learn the most from because they show us that their feelings for us were not genuine and that they have other priorities. And those priorities do not include us.
And that's ok.
It's not personal even though it feels like it is. It's just that process that reveals their true character and intent. And in that process we can start to finally see them for who they are. Not who we wanted them to be but who they really are. We can then keep in mind for future relationships when it looks good on the outside that's good but when the intimacy and the emotions come into play and take over it's a whole new game.
Those emotions and the feelings cloud our vision of who the person really is and often times we don't see them for who they really are. But amazingly getting out of denial gets us out of the funk. So let's get out of the funk by accepting the truth of the situation and by doing something proactive about it.
XOXO,
