Dear Salty Vixen, The guy I've been dating recently started ignoring my texts and phone calls, but he's not saying anything about it when we are together. What does this mean? I need some dating advice fast! Signed, He Won’t Return My Phone Calls
Dear He Won’t Return My Phone Calls,
The answer to your question is simple. He’s ignoring your calls and texts because he doesn’t want to talk to you. How hard is it to pick up the phone, after all? Not hard at all! If he wanted to, he would. He doesn’t, and he’s not. But you’re not getting the message. He’s not saying anything to you when you’re together because he isn’t interested in having a conversation with you. Too simple to be true? Nope. It’s not. It’s too true to be less simple. If he wanted to have a conversation with you, he could. “Hey, how’s your day going?” is not that hard to utter. Or “How’s your job?”, “How’s your family?”, “I really want to tell you about my day.”. Easy. If he wants to…but he doesn’t, and he’s not. So why aren’t you getting the message? Because you have a bigger problem…You're thinking he's going to respond the same way you would, only men respond differently than women do.
First:
NEVER call or text a man to ask him out. NEVER make a first move. NEVER propose to a man. And NEVER initiate phone calls that are not returning his. And of the ones you do return – DON’T return them right away, and don’t return all of them. You’re probably asking yourself why because this may seem foreign to you, but the truth is that men love to hunt and catch – everything. They love to conquer. And the second you are too easy to catch, they are going to move on to someone or something else.
The Feminist Movement did all women wrong when they touted equality in all arenas. The truth is that men and women are very different. They are not equal and to treat each other as equals is to misunderstand men and women. So start understanding men – and women – and you’ll know that they do things differently and they think differently and they want different things and behaviors from their partners than they do from themselves.
Second:
As a woman, you have to understand “man-think." For instance, when he ignores your calls, he’s sending you a clear message. Or, rather, that’s what he thinks he’s doing. What you think is, “What’s wrong with him? He must be afraid of commitment. He’s got a deep seeded problem with women and he can’t return my calls because he’s psychologically scarred.” Etc. Women start analyzing like crazy. Well, men don’t. They’re pretty simple creatures. You just have to understand them. And most women don’t.
Third:
If you’re thinking, but we have great sex – and he still doesn’t call me, listen up!! He will sleep with you because you allow it. And he won’t call you because he doesn’t want to. It’s pretty simple, really. Great sex is important, but it’s not enough to make a man stay interested, monogamous and committed. He wants a woman that is the prize, so that when he makes you his woman, he can feel proud.
So, my suggestion to you is to move on and get a handle on your own life. If he sees you looking great, having fun and being successful at life – he’ll want you more. By that time, you may or may not be interested in him – but most likely, he’ll have to wait in line because if you become the kind of woman who thinks & dates like a man, you’ll have men lining up for you – and you’ll have your choice. Choose well.
