If a guy tells you that he is not ready for a relationship does he mean that he is not interested in being with that person, or that he doesn't want to commit to that person. As you can see, I need some dating advice badly. -Sincerely,What’s He Really Saying?
Salty Vixen's Advice:
Dear What’s He Really Saying:
Sometimes a “no” sounds like “no,” and sometimes it looks like “no,” but sometimes, it looks and sounds like, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” Sometimes it looks like, “Gee, not tonight, but maybe next week – ‘kay?” And your job as a young woman is to figure out what is in your best interest. You do NOT want to be with someone who doesn’t want you. You do NOT want to sit around waiting for someone to figure out if he wants you or not. You do NOT want to sit around waiting for someone who may or may not want a relationship.
Every Action -- And Every Inaction -- Is A Decision:
Indecision is a decision. A wishy-washy answer is an answer. Train your ears to hear what he’s really saying. Men and women are different, and when a man says something to you, the same words out of his mouth often have different meaning than the same words out of a woman’s mouth. The sooner you realize this, the less time you’re going to waste, the less heartache you’re going to have, and the more happiness you’re going to enjoy.
Know What Men Want:
The feminist movement did a lot of women – and men – big harm by allowing women (and men) to think it’s okay to ask a man out, to ask him what his feelings are about you, to make the first move and to propose to a man. You should no sooner be asking a man what his feelings towards you are, then you should be eating fish food for breakfast. And you’d better not be eating fish food for breakfast! And you’d also better figure out quickly what a man does when he likes you and when he’s really interested in a relationship with you.
For instance: A man wants to feel butterflies in his stomach when he’s around Ms. Right. He wants to feel fireworks. If you’re waiting around for him, and he knows it, how is he ever going to feel fireworks? You're too available. Fireworks aren’t something that happen every day. They’re special, and if he doesn’t feel that you’re special, then find someone who does. Because I guarantee you that he will.
Second: A man is a hunter. Men want to hunt for a woman. They want to chase you. They want to feel that when they win you – if they win you – it’s a prize that they’ve conquered. If you aren’t a prize – then what’s the point of him chasing you or even winning you?
Actions Speak Louder Than Words:
If you’re sitting around waiting for him to figure out if he wants to be in a relationship with you or if he wants a relationship at all – you’re taking away the hunt for him, and wasting your time! You haven’t been able to figure out what your guy is saying to you: He isn’t ready for a relationship. You’re spinning your wheels trying to dissect his meaning, analyze his motivation, and do his therapy for him – a sure sign of failure in a relationship.
Watch What He Does, And What He Does Not Do:
I'm sorry, but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. If he did, he’d be asking you out. He’d be calling. He’d be bringing you flowers and introducing you to his friends. When a man likes you – you know. This one doesn’t. You need to accept that, and move on. Now. Put your best attitude on. Make sure you look like a million bucks. Get your confidence in high gear. Figure out what you want in a man. And get out there and get it! That’s simple advice.
You can do it – IF you don’t waste time with men who aren’t interested. Like this one.
XOXO,
