Oh my, life has been so busy, hasn't it? I hope you found time to dress yourself up in a smashing outfit and put the eye moves on some yummy men.
I chose a black cashmere sweater and a flowing black skirt with white polka dots that fell just above the knee. Polka dots, tiny ones, are so fun. Big ones are just bad - avoid them. Then I pulled on some strappy black sandals and wore an upswept hairdo. It was so fun to wear and be seen in.
Ah, so… what happened after I caught the eye of one of those delicious men? Hmm, flirting my friend, flirting.
Helen Rowland said, "Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself."
Oh how true that is. Flirting is less about selling yourself and more about making the man you are with feel good while he is with you. If a man feels good about himself when he is with you, he will want to see more and more of you.
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Let's suppose you've made eye contact and now have a handsome man sitting next to you having just brought you a glass of wine. The eye contact worked like a charm. He's interested in you and now you need to find out more about him and see if he's a man you want to get to know better. Perhaps even much better.
Time to flirt!! Roll up your sleeves and get ready for the fun.
Here's how to flirt with finesse:
• Continue to make eye contact – he's right in front of you now, so he knows you are interested in him and him alone. Make the most of it.
• Smile – all women are more attractive when they smile. It lets him know you are happy to be there talking with him.
• Touch his sleeve – or his collar, or some other non-personal place to bridge the space between you and bring the conversation to a more intimate level.
• Ask easy questions – remember you want to make him feel good about himself. He's completely blown away by the vision you place before his eyes, so make sure the questions are easy to answer: What does he like to eat? What is his favorite sport? What does he like to watch on television?
• And an important thing, if at any point in the conversation you feel he isn't a man you want to spend time with, be nice and let him go. Tell him you need to leave to meet a girlfriend or some other excuse, but don't make him feel bad. No one wins when you do that. Sensual Women like to make men feel good, even men they aren't interested in. All women win when men are treated well.
But let's say you like what he has to say and you're both laughing, what do you do next? Easy, turn it up a notch.
Make the conversation more intimate, move beyond the weather and television routine and start asking about hobbies, pets, careers and other more personal things. But please don't make it too personal. Religion, past marriages, financial topics and politics should be avoided until you know him much, much better. Perhaps they should never be discussed.
If things continue going well then make plans to see each other again and pat yourself on the back for some successful flirting. If the exchange ends without future plans, well don't be too upset. You had a good time learning about someone new and honed your flirting skills for the next encounter.
So, when does flirting end? Never!
A Sensual Woman will flirt with her lover for a lifetime. Nothing beats the intimacy of one on one conversation where each person hangs on the word of the other. Successful long-term relationships deepen because of flirting because each partner knows they are appreciated.
Hmm, time for another assignment.
Since the topic of this column is flirting, we'll focus on that. Think back to the movies you've seen. In your Sensual Woman journal make a list of the best flirting scenes you remember from movies both current and past. Think about what made them so exciting and sensual. What made the chemistry between those two people seem so real. Make a night of it, pop some corn and grab a girlfriend and enjoy some wonderful movie moments.
Until next time my friends, expect pleasure!!!
XOXO
