Most people, when they stand before friends and family and exchange wedding vows, don’t even dream about ever living in a sexless marriage. When love and passion are prominent, it’s difficult to even imagine anything so strange. However, it’s not really that strange or rare. In fact, it’s a common phenomenon which many couples face.
The statistics regarding sexless marriages state that around 15% of married couples in the United States live in what is defined as a sexless marriage, which is sexual intercourse occurring 10 times or less each year. Of course, each person has his or her own sex drive and needs, so only you can determine what is sexless for you. In my opinion, there is no set definition.
The main thing you need to remember is that you’re not alone in this. In fact, you’re part of a big group of people. It is something that you shouldn’t be ashamed of as it happens to so many.
Some people live in sexless marriages for years, but there is no doubt that the lack of sex can create a lot of tension and resentment within a marriage and can threaten its very existence. Usually, only one of the couple loses his or her sex drive. The other still craves sex and feels deprived. When this happens, the chances of divorce in the near or far future may increase dramatically.
Of course, it is more difficult to know for sure how many divorces are caused by sexless marriages. Often, there is more than a single factor which leads to a breakup and it’s difficult to pinpoint one or the other. However, we can assume that the increased tension and bad feelings within a sexless relationship can bring about a separation.
Why?
The reason is simple: people love sex, they crave it, they enjoy it. It’s a basic human need. When people tie the knot they do so out of love and physical attraction. They believe that they will be fulfilled in every way within the marriage and that includes sex. After all, this is a major part of any marriage.
Rejection, especially physical rejection, can create enormous resentment between two people. Especially when one person feels cheated of what he or she believe are basic parts of a healthy relationship. This resentment can lead to all sorts of bad times within a relationship and may even cause it to end in divorce.
Even though some sexless marriages don’t end in divorce and last for years, many of them are never complete or happy. There is always something missing from them. Often, the longer it has been without sex, the harder it is to re-ignite the fires of passion. As someone who has helped many people create a new spark within their marriage, I know that it is so. I also understand how scared you must feel. All is not lost. You can do much to heal your marriage and make it whole again.
