Do you sigh when you see couples living it up in perfect wedding bliss? Do you envy couples who seem unable to get their hands off each other? Well, you are not alone. According to a report published in Newsweek, many couples in America and all around the world are not enjoying any sexual intimacy with their partners as much as they should. In fact, many Americans are living in a sexless marriage and probably see no way for this to change.
Living on a day to day basis in a sexless marriage can be sheer torture. This is because a long-term sexless marriage can really break your psyche to bits. This doesn’t seem natural after all. The lack of intimacy can lead to:
- Breakdown of self esteem
- Feelings of resentment, sometimes leading to violence
- Feelings of depression sometimes leading to suicidal tendencies
- Feeling of loneliness and desperation
There are many reasons for a lack of intimacy in a marriage that was once the hotbed of strong emotions. It could be a lack of sex drive, medical problems, emotional blocks or age. Whatever the reason, you can still make your marriage work if that is what both of you want.
The first step is open communication. If the lack of intimacy is not by choice, then you need to dig deep for the reasons leading to it. You need to find ways in which you can reconnect. Find out what you can do to rekindle the romance in your relationship. Make your bed and your bedroom a place to relax and unwind. Do not bring work, PDAs, laptops or books into this private space.
Be brave and ready yourself for some harsh tones with your partner. It may be some harsh words that you will hear. However, hearing the truth can also be liberating and it is certainly the first step on the road to a possible improvement in the state of your marriage.
Another important thing is to use up excess energy in a creative manner so that you do not feel too frustrated. Exercise more and do things that you enjoy. Get out and have fun. Just letting go of the all-pervasive urge for sex may be the break you need.
Try to share common interests with your partner. Many couples fall off their sex lives simply because of lack of time. Find the time to be together in an intimate manner. Take the time to set the mood. Do not pass negative comments or ridicule your spouse’s lack of interest. By diminishing your spouse, you are also demeaning yourself.
Never let your spouse or their lack of interest get you down. Focus on the positive and eliminate the negatives. It may take time to rebuild the intimacy in your marriage, so have patience.
Sexless marriages can be turned around. In fact, many couples have successfully done so and gone on to enjoy many years of fulfilling togetherness. At the end, it all depends on how much you want your marriage to work.
