There was a time, long, long ago when we would rely on a local event, our friends, or even a fair to meet our significant others. Now we rely on our Internet service providers to open the doors to romance. Whether we like it or not, the Internet has changed our lives, especially the way we date and meet people.
Positives & Negatives:
Like everything else in life, there are both positive and negative aspects to finding romance on the Web. For one, the screening process is much more elaborate. You can go through a dating service, find a person based on your criteria, see their picture, and get a lot more information on your prospect than from the personal ads in your local newspaper. This helps save a lot of valuable time since the chances of going on a horrible date are reduced with this more intricate screening process.
Another positive aspect is that it's very likely for people who meet online through community chat lines to meld psychologically before taking a peak at each other. The kind of interaction two people have over an Internet line is more intimate and more revealing than any phone conversation, where pretension and posing are the themes of the game. Not only can we hide our true identity online a lot more easily than in the real world, the pressures of spontaneous conversation, looking our best and cracking funny jokes don't exist.
Why do we go online?
The Internet has changed the way people look for each other since we live in a customizable society where we assume we can get anything in the shape, size or color of our choice. This mentality extends to the online world where we search for a perfect mate, with the added convenience of a mouse click.
Essentially, men and women have moved their search for the love of their lives to the Internet because it's a much simpler way to find someone. Most men dread approaching women in the streets or at clubs, while most women hate being approached, as much as they might be interested in whatever men have to offer. Online, none of these societal rules take hold, giving people a lot more leeway to introducing themselves to other lost souls.
The Dark Side:
Of course, the online world isn't all that rosy either. For every couple that met online and is living in marital bliss (it's still too young to judge the viability of any of these online relationships), there is the sick stalker who never gives up or the idiot who thinks that writing "hey, you're hot" will make her propose to him.
There are scammers. Married people pretending to be single; CryptoCurrency scammers and so on. I once spoke to a man who lied he was a famous celebrity, he gave me his number and when I did a deep dive (YES! ALWAYS DO A BACKGROUND CHECK !) turned out he had a LONG rap sheet of a criminal record. I dodged that one!
How to Approach Online Dating:
Finding someone online is not very different than going through the personal ads or a phone dating service. The only difference is that the scope of people you will find will be vastly larger. There are many dating apps, but do remember that it is very easy to deceive someone online and people should always take precautions.
Among the biggest mistakes men make online, one is being too pushy. It's unattractive in the real world and even more-so in the wired world. In cyberspace, women do not have the added advantage of hearing men's tone of voice or seeing their body language to discern their vibes. If the person on the other end seems too forthcoming and too eager, women may become defensive.
The same rules of etiquette that apply offline are valid online. Remember to be courteous and respectful, but have fun and use the anonymity of the Internet to seek out new partners that have interests you never knew you were interested in. In the same way that we only acquire new tastes for foods by sampling, we only discover new partners by dating a variety of people.
Don't be shy online and remember to keep your expectations realistic. After all, it is a new medium, one that a lot of women are still not completely comfortable with. If you need a little help getting started, go to www.friendfinder.com and start looking for that special someone.
That's all for now and keep those dating stories coming.
Be safe, XOXO..
Love, Salty Vixen
