Today’s episode on the S-Spot with Salty Vixen is titled “ Lies People Use on Dating Apps and a Dating Story to Share from Bumble Dating App”. Dating is all digital for 2023 and beyond. The question my friend say- if you hate dating apps why use them? My response is what everyone who uses dating apps say "how do you meet people? Dating Apps are sadly, the only way to meet people nowadays". With Dating Apps, such as Bumble, there are a lot of liars and they can be detected online through a variety of methods. If there are lots of misspelled words in a person's text message, that can be an indication that there is something suspicious going on.
Read on but my podcast (aboved) includes my latest dating story that I did not write down.
Scammers often try to create a false sense of urgency. Catfishers are also often reluctant to do a video call. If a person asks for money before meeting in person to cover gas or for some other reason, that is normally an indicator that they are trying to scam you. People should go with their gut instinct. If you suspect something is wrong, something probably is wrong.
Those who are not scammers or catfishers, they love-bomb, want to hookup and 96% of people on dating apps don't want a hookup. Men have gotten creative by creating a profile "I am looking for a relationship" because they know many women will say no to hookup and because they experienced it, lying about the relationship is how to hook that woman in. Always look out for the signs:
Remember, Love bombing is an attempt to influence and manipulate a partner by repeated and intense demonstrations of attention and affection, such as bombarding with gifts or messages.
1. They say “I love you” very early in the relationship: Saying “I love you” for the first time can be genuinely special. But, more often than not, it takes time to get to this stage. If someone you’re dating drops the L word within a few days or even weeks, it could be a sign that you’re being love bombed.
2. They introduce you to their parents or family members too soon : Love bombers sometimes want to introduce their partner to important people in their life, very early on in the relationship. Often, they do this to make you feel like the relationship is getting very serious, very quickly. They may also want to meet the important people in your life to try to get their approval with the same love bombing-like tactics.
3. They try to move in with you: Keep in mind that most of these love bombing signs apply to the early stages of a relationship. If your partner wants to talk about moving in together after you’ve been together for a year, that’s pretty normal. After a couple of weeks, however? It’s a definite red flag.
4. They want to define the relationship ASAP: Oftentimes, post-pandemic dating can be slightly commitment-phobic, and most of us could probably benefit from defining our relationships a bit sooner rather than letting them remain undefined for years on end. That being said, if the person you’ve just started dating wants to commit ASAP, whether that means calling you his girlfriend or even proposing, it could very well be a sign of love bombing.
5. They post the relationship all over social media: Most of us love when our significant other shows us off on social media. But if someone is excessively posting romantic photos of you two all over their socials, it might be an indication of love bombing. This is especially true if they post lovey-dovey captions like “my world” or “my soul mate” within just weeks of meeting you.
6. They call you their soulmate or twin flame: We’ve been taught to search for our soulmate since we were in diapers watching Disney movies, so it’s no surprise that narcissists may call you their soulmate or twin flame in an attempt to make you feel like your connection is stronger than it really is.
7. They give you over-the-top compliments: If your partner constantly says things that make you feel confident, beautiful, and smart, that’s great. We all love reassuring words of affirmation. But, if they give you dramatic compliments so much that you feel like you’re living in an episode of Bridgerton, or Sex and the City (the older series, not the new) that might be a cause for concern. It’s normal for your partner to express their feelings. However, if their compliments are something like “you are my world and I know that you’re destined to be my wife,” in the first few months, that’s probably a bad sign.
8. They shower you with gifts: It’s cute when your date buys you a nice bottle of wine or their favorite vegan cupcakes, especially if your love language is gifts. That being said, it’s creepy when your date shows up with a designer bag or two tickets to a luxurious getaway when you’ve only met once or twice.
9. They ask you to do things you don’t feel comfortable doing: For an IRL love bombing example, look no further than Netflix’s The Tinder Swindler. The swindler, AKA Simon Leviev, showered his girlfriends with luxury gifts, took them on fancy vacations (sometimes as early as the first date), and texted them constantly no matter where he was traveling (over-the-top affection). This is an extreme example, and a manipulator’s ask isn’t always as outlandish as thousands of dollars. It might be as simple as him asking you to stop going to your weekly pilates class because he wants to spend more time with you.
10. They want to spend every waking hour with you: If you feel like you haven’t had any me-time since you got into the relationship, it’s probably not very healthy. While it’s natural to want to spend lots of time with someone in the honeymoon phase, it’s concerning if they want you to forego other friends, work, or personal obligations just to be with them.
11. They seem too good to be true: Everyone, no matter how worthy of love, has flaws. If your partner is super-agreeable and seems to have all the same likes and dislikes as you, it’s probably an act they’re putting on to make you think that your soulmates. Keep a close eye on this, because you’ll probably start noticing inconsistencies in their behavior as they forget to keep up the act.
12. They make you feel guilty for putting yourself first: If your partner makes you feel guilty for setting and sticking to your boundaries, that’s a bad sign. This can range across a multitude of things. Perhaps they don’t like you hanging out with your friends instead of them? Or did they disagree with you not giving them your phone password?
Whatever it might be, a love bomber will try to make you feel guilty for sticking up for yourself and your needs. They might say things like, “Wow, I guess I’ll just sit here all alone until you get back,” or “I thought we had no secrets? I would give you my phone password if you wanted it.” A good relationship doesn’t involve making your partner feel guilty for putting themselves first. It’s probably a sign of love bombing.
13. They’re often short-tempered: This one relates to the last point. If you find that the person you’re dating is not only making you feel guilty but is also getting angry when you don’t give them the attention they feel they deserve, this can be a pretty surefire love bombing sign.
How to Tell if Someone Is Lying When Online Dating: It may be difficult to determine if someone is being untruthful without speaking to them face-to-face. Hendel has shared four warning signs that may help you find out if someone is using a fake identity, which is also known as catfishing.
- Multiple mis-spellings or grammatical errors
- Reluctant to video call
- Canceling dates repeatedly
- Unwillingness to meet in person
But it isn't just catfishers online daters need to look out for but scammers too.
