Dear Salty Vixen,
Well, here is the story. I met a guy the other day, and we have been talking for awhile about different things. I thought everything was going great. Well, we met up one night and we had sex. To me it was wonderful, and I thought something was going to come of it. Except, now he is saying we moved too fast, he just wants to be friends for now and maybe in the future have something more. I am really hurt over this because I feel when you do something like that it is supposed to be special. I am so confused and hurt. I think about him all the time and it's just really getting to me. I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I can be his friend right now. What should I do? Should I just leave him alone and forget about what happened? -One Night And It's Over?
Dear One Night And It's Over?,
Sex is something that is a serious responsibility, and should be treated as so. If you feel that sex is something special then you need to make sure the sexual partners you choose also feel the same way. You can't assume the other person has the same viewpoints you do. You have to ask and question these things; otherwise you can find yourself in the same situation you are in.
A week or so isn't typically enough time to find out this type of information. In the future, if you want to avoid getting hurt like this, guard your sexuality until you are sure the other person shares your same viewpoints.
That doesn't mean don't have sex, or that your viewpoints can’t change. If you understand and are willingly to have a non-committal fling then that is great; just make sure that is what you want AND what the other person wants. As for your current situation, I'd say forget him. If it causes you too much pain to be around him, let sleeping dogs lie for awhile. Maybe in a few months you can rethink the friendship aspect of the relationship.
XOXO,
