One of the most awkward experiences a person can have is at the end of a first date. Do you kiss and go home or do you "go upstairs for coffee?" The question of whether or not to have sex on the first date is something that is hotly debated. Listed below are some pro's and con's on the subject, followed by some advice on things to watch out for.
Pros of first date sex
- Possibility of great sex.
- It reinforces the feelings you have for your date.
- It shows whether the two of you are sexually compatible.
- You don't have to part at the end of the night if you really like each other.
Cons of first date sex
- Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
- It could turn out to be a one-night-stand.
- You don't typically know the person after just one date.
- It may be against your religious or moral beliefs.
- Your partner maybe a psycho (especially if this is a blind date).
- Your partner may think you are easy and devalue the entire experience.
Now, apart from the above, there is also the question of self-indulgence. Do you want to sleep with your date just to have sex? If that is the case and you don't care if it turns out to be just a one-night-stand (and it is not against any religious or moral beliefs that you hold dear), then that is ok, as long as you are careful. However, if you expect to have a relationship with this person just because you slept with them, then don't do it. My advice is that if you want to go out with this person again and develop a relationship with them, then hold off on having sex the first night. Take it a little slower and see how things develop.
Now, having said all that, it is a personal choice and if you decide not to sleep with your date, then listed below are a few things to watch out for so that you don't end up in a potentially embarrassing, or dangerous, situation.
- Beware of back rubs or massages. These are generally a part of sexual foreplay and very often lead to sex.
- Do not allow them into your home at the end of the date or until you are ready to have sex.
- Don't assume that just because you said no that your date will stop trying to sleep with you.
- Don't lead them to believe that you will sleep with them. If necessary, tell them where they stand.
Here are what saltyvixenstories.com users submitted:
- As a man...I've only pursued one relationship after sex on a first date....so statistically based on friends and my own experiences....it's a no no if you want a relationship....we tend to look at women in a bit of a disrespectful way if we find it comes that easy.....and yes i know it goes both ways....but lets be realistic and truthful when it comes to men/women and sex. - anonymous
- i think sex on the first date is fine if you have known that person for a while before you started dating but really its just based on the heat of the moment and if you both know you want it - kitty
- Sex on the first date is something that you should just do without expecting a ring the next day. You should both want to do it. You might end up together for a long time as well as you might never see each other again. Its just an at the moment thing. - Debbie
- Sex on the first date is perfectly fine, as long as you know what you want. Be up front and say something like "does this mean anything more than sex?" if the answer is yes, and you don’t want to be then head for the door. If the answer is no then hop in the bed. Simple enough. That way nobody gets hurt. - Danny
- Sex after the first date? It's a big no-no. The first date is about you get to the date beta. Same with friendships. I think it's beta to wait until u noe each other enough and proving them right. - Ana
