Ladies and Gentlemen, I, Salty Vixen, thought we needed a fun little article - humor and this is a series titled "The Cock Interviews" Enjoy and Smile.....
Intro Music: Special Report Fanfare- championship keith mansfield arranged by john higgins (if you played in marching band at one point, you know this song and I am sure you can pick up your instrument years later and play the notes exactly- at least I can lol)
Hello and good evening. This is Mrs. "I love Cock" and tonight we have a very special guest with us in the studio. My cock has agreed to join us this evening to answer some questions and talk about life, the universe and everything. Good evening and welcome.
My Cock: Thanks Mrs. I Love Cock, it is good to be here tonight.
Mrs. I Love Cock: Can I just call you 'My Cock' or 'Cock'?
My Cock: You can call me whatever you want, just don't call me late for sex!
Mrs. I Love Cock: HaHa! Sometimes I forget what a great sense of humor you have...
My Cock: Are you kidding? Look who I have to ride around with all day!
Mrs. I Love Cock: Funny. Ok, let's get down to it then. What have you been up to lately?
My Cock: Not as much as I'd like, I can tell you that! But seriously Mrs. I Love Cock, after years of being neglected and then abused by you, I'm finally starting to feel like a real cock again. I think I've found my special purpose.
Mrs. I Love Cock: Funny, from the Jerk right?
My Cock: You're not the only one watching movies y'know. But Lady L has been the ticket to getting my self confidence back on track. Other than celibacy I can't imagine anything worse than being married and not seeing any action for so long. Well... other than being cut off and thrown out a car window!
Mrs. I Love Cock: Let's not talk about that, ok? All those sexless years must have been hard on you?
My Cock: The problem was they weren't "hard"! But I know what you mean, I may be single minded but I have feelings y'know? We cocks get a bad rap from the liberal media, we aren't all bad. In fact many of us are very good.
Mrs. I Love Cock: Why do you think cocks get a bad rap?
My Cock: Look, I'm not saying that some cocks don't deserve it. Believe me, I know that some do. All I'm saying is just don't lump as all in together. Although that could be interesting...
Mrs. I Love Cock: Back to Lady L for a minute... how is your relationship with Her Pussy?
My Cock: Couldn't be better Mrs. I Love Cock. Truly, we get along fabulously. She completes me. She's so great, we fit together like you wouldn't believe. I can't believe that it took you so long to find her!
Mrs. I Love Cock: Is there something about her that we might not know?
My Cock: Hmmm, something about her that you might not know... Well, she's quite the poet. I bet you didn't know that?
Mrs. I Love Cock: What do you mean?
My Cock: When we're fucking, and I'm inside of her, she's always reading me these sweet love poems that she writes... gets me so turned on. She has a wonderful voice y'know?
Mrs. I Love Cock: Can you remember any of the poems?
My Cock: I probably shouldn't say on the air like this, it is kinda private.
Mrs. I Love Cock: I understand. With that in mind, tell us something about yourself that we might not know.
My Cock: I think the biggest misconception about us is that all we think about is fucking. While it is true that we think about it alot... ok, we mostly think about fucking. But I do have other interests.
Mrs. I Love Cock: Really? Like what exactly?
My Cock: There are so many... I mean, I think about blowjobs and handjobs alot. Masturbation used to be a popular hobby, but not so much anymore...
Mrs. I Love Cock: But those are all sex related topics. Do you think about anything else?
My Cock: Hey, I'm your cock, your dick, your pecker... you want ME thinking about something else?!?
Mrs. I Love Cock: Ok, good point. I think that'll just about do it for this evening. Would you like to come back again next week for Part 2?
My Cock: Anytime I can come again, I am always up for it.
Mrs. I Love Cock: Any final words this evening?
My Cock: Yeah. I just want to say that us cocks just want to be loved too. We work hard to please and a little extra tenderness goes a long way. We're fun to be around, even when we're tired and taking it easy. Nothing makes me feel more complete than a warm soft touch, just knowing that someone loves you.
Mrs. I Love Cock: I think those are good words to end this part.
Stay tuned until next week folks, when My Cock returns and we'll talk more about what it was like growing up a cock. Until then this is Mrs. I Love Cock and...
My Cock: ...his cock!
Saying good night.
