The expectations you may have of a partner are seldom spoken of in the beginning of a relationship, yet can be a main cause of disagreement later on. Often a person may feel that their specific expectations are unrealistic to ask of another person so they let it slide. If this happens often, the relationship can end in disillusionment and can set the stage for an emotional encounter later on.
On the other hand, a person may also truly expect too much from their partner, causing their partner to harbor, slight as they may be, negative feelings.
So how do you get out of this vicious cycle?
You can start by always being honest to your partner, and yourself, about what you expect and feel. If you don’t feel you can openly communicate with your partner about what you expect, you might want to take a good look at why you feel that way.
Another way of making sure you’re communicating what you desire is to make a list of what you personally expect, and don’t expect, from a partner. A great way to do this is to draw a circle. Inside the circle, write down everything you expect from your partner and outside the circle, write down everything you do not expect from your partner. You may find this exercise extremely helpful in other areas of your life as well.
When you get a clear understanding of what your personal expectations are you’ll find it easier to communicate with your partner about them, and if you’re single — find the perfect partner.
For more ideas, read these 25 thoughts on expectations from other saltyvixenstories.com users!
“Since, I’m in an LDR [long distance relationship], the foremost expectations I have of my partner are: 1) trust; 2) honesty; 3) monogamy and 4) total commitment to the relationship. If there’s a problem, don’t let it fester; communicate with me so I can deal with the situation no matter what it is. If you’re totally committed to the relationship, most things will work out if you can have an open line of communication.” -Angieb
“My expectations of my partner are to be honest, faithful and loving, but not perfect. I have learned that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, but I expect him to keep me in his heart and treat me like I deserve to be treated.” -LaQuita
“I expect that my partner will always honor and respect the commitment we have made to one another.” -April
“I expect for my boyfriend to be faithful, and to love me with as much as he has. I don’t want anything from him, just for him to love me, and to want to spend time with me. I love him so very much. I am lucky that I have found my expectations in someone who I trust 100%.” -HipChik
“I want my partner to show me exactly how they feel at all times. I want to know I am the most important thing in their life.” -Robert Illk
“The expectations that I have for my partner are the same as he may have for me — just be honest and don’t ever deceive me in any way.” -Andrea
“A man should be nice, but not a butt-kisser. He should respect you and your opinions, yet still have a mind of his own. A man should be able to show all of his feelings, whether he’s happy, sad, or angry. He should be able to talk with you, and let you talk as well without claming up.” -katie
“I expect him to be a friend, to be there when times get rough, to share anything that’s bothering him with me and to tell me the truth.” -Kim
“My basic expectations are consideration, affection, communication, and of course being faithful and trustworthy.” -Daniel
“I expect my partner to be true to herself and her needs, and communicate those needs to me so I can know her better and meet those needs as best I can. I expect her to accept me as a ‘work in progress’ (God knows I’m far from perfect) and love me for all my qualities – great and not-so-great. Lastly, I expect that my partner be open; especially during times of relationship crisis or communication difficulties we experience along the way. And work with me toward solutions and better communication strategies for enhancing the special bond of love we formed.” -Mel
“To accept me as the person I have chosen to be. To respect me, be honest and be monogamous. To be able to laugh at this mixed up world we live in.” -Kathy
“To be Christian, handsome, outgoing and to be protective of my needs and feelings financially.” -lynn
“I expect my partner to do just the little things. Like call me in the morning just to say good morning, call at night to say good night, e-mail me a message just saying how his day was, and be there for me when I really need him.” -Tamara
“I want him to be here for me no matter what, support the things that are important to me and try to understand why they are important to me. I want him to talk to me when he is down so that I will know it’s not me that he is mad at or uncomfortable with.” -Cindy
“My basic expectations for my boyfriends are pretty much just treat me like I’m someone special. They need to make me feel as though I am the most important person to them, even if it’s just through occasional sweet words. A few more things are just like, remembering special dates, and telephone calls every night when you can’t be with them that night, no matter how busy each other are.” -Chanelle
“I want my partner to be in control and to take care of me. I want him to respect me for who I am. I want honesty and loyalty. I want romance and spontaneity. I want him to sweep me off of my feet and just make wild passionate love. I want communication.” -lindsay
“I expect my partner to be sensitive to my needs. I want him to be there for me, not only in happy moments, but most especially in the lowest times of my life. I want him to be there listening and understanding my thoughts, feelings and even my deepest sense of being, and most of all I expect him to love me whoever and whatever I am.” -Emee
“I expect my partner to be my equal, not less nor more. I expect respect and fidelity.” -Jim
“The first thing I expect in my partner is for him to trust me. I expect him to spend time with me. I expect him to be there for me, to honor and cherish me. To treat me like I am his one and only. Lastly and most importantly I expect him to love me.” -Mina
“To give me my fairy tale!” -Jen
“Expectations are simple when it comes to a relationship, I want him to be there for me, love me, understand me, comfort me when it is necessary, I want him to be my best friend and want to be with me no matter what……….and maybe leave the toilet seat down or do the laundry every once in a while!! :)” -Chantel
“Little notes around the house or leaving you e-mail and voice mail just to say I love you! Coming to see you unexpectedly. It’s the little things that make a difference!” -Kim
“That he would get a job that he likes and stays with it so we will be secure in the future. I just want him to have goals and to stick to them!” -Jeannine
“He should never take little things for granted because they make up all the pieces of life. Never be afraid to show what he feels and is willing for me to be a part of this missing piece in life. Respect me and treat me as someone special, and I need to feel desired.” -Irene
“I have no expectations. Therefore, I can’t say he or I failed. With no expectations, we both experience surprises everyday with each other. It has worked for months and I hope it works forever. We don’t argue, and we agree to disagree. All we both want is respect and the chance to voice our opinion, without someone trying to convince us we are wrong.” -Karen
