Has he disappeared? Have you been waiting by the phone or hoping he’ll text for just a little too long? Have you checked your email more times today than you will admit out loud? Maybe these things are happening because he’s lost interest.
So, why do men pull away? Just when things seemed so good, poof, he pulls a Houdini. Why do men do that? Some experts say it’s a required part of the course of your relationship, others will say, he’s just not that into you.
Knowing why can’t ensure that the brush off never happens again, but at least give you some insight into why he disappeared. Check out the most common reasons why men lose interest:
1. You’re on a different relationship page than him.
This is one of the most common reasons men lose interest. Combat this one by ensuring you only date men who ARE on the same page as you. It’s okay to want a long-term relationship, just don’t date the guys that aren’t ready for that right now. It’s okay for him to want what he wants too, giving him space if this is his reason will have him coming back to you more than a freak-out for leading you on will.
2. He simply doesn’t feel like you two click.
You went on a few dates and thought everything was amazing but he didn’t quite feel the same spark. You just can’t fake chemistry. Sometimes a guy will date a woman who looks great on paper for a long time trying to get that spark going, even though it never does. So he fades out or cuts things off when he finally realizes it just isn’t going to work.
If you’ve been with a guy for a while and it just fizzles out, take comfort in the fact that he still thought you were awesome enough to invest all that time in. It’s nobody’s fault when the chemistry isn’t there, it just is what it is. Move on and find the right guy who will give you the fireworks you deserve.
3. There’s someone else.
Sad but true, this happens a lot, and he just doesn’t have the guts to tell you. The only way to prevent this from happening is to be an awesome girlfriend. Be cool, but not too cool, don’t try to hard and don’t pressure him into being yours forever, and he won’t think about looking elsewhere. Hold on loosely.
If you both are in a committed relationship and he’s truly cheating on you, get out. It isn’t worth it to keep a relationship limping along where one person has lost respect for the other one enough to go behind their back.
Often cowardly men will cheat to get their woman to break up with them or figure out where you stand in the relationship. I say, take them up on the breakup.
4. You did something that upset him, and haven’t owned it.
Sometimes women think that being in a relationship gives them the go ahead to start acting like a demanding jerk. It doesn’t.
Just because he said he loves you once, doesn’t mean you now have the right to walk all over him. If he’s lost interest because of something you did, and you know it, owning it and asking for his forgiveness is a good step back in the right direction. It may not get you two back together, but at least he won’t still think you’re a total control freak.
5. You’re too available.
This manifests in everything from having sex too soon, to asking him to marry you on date three. If you don’t have a fulfilling life outside of your relationship with him, he will run faster than he can say, “Check please!” A little mystery goes a LONG way. Keep him guessing in the same way he keeps you guessing and you will drive him crazy, but in the right way.
6. You’re too needy.
Men love to be needed yes, they don’t love to know that your day can not function without knowing all of their whereabouts and you calling 457 times to tell him you sneezed. Yes you CAN kill that spider in your closet all on your own; he doesn’t need to be dragged out of his client meeting to help you with that one. In fact, being extremely needy can be a great way to actually get rid of a guy who won’t go away. Use in cases of emergency only.
The Bottom Line – Why Do Men Lose Interest?
Men can often be difficult creatures for women to understand. The slow brush off or the fade away seems to be much more common today than in the past. The truth is, sometimes it’s just easier for men to fade to black and stop returning your calls rather than being honest with you about why they have lost interest.
While every relationship has its own reason for fizzling out, all you need to remember is that it’s not always about you, and sometimes (I’d argue, all the time), you’re just plain better off. Your girlfriends are right, you are awesome, and the right one will come along.
