So what do you do when a guy who seemed thrilled to be with you pulled a Houdini?
A Houdini, for the uninitiated, is when someone you’re dating just completely disappears without warning. They just never respond to any communication from you ever again. This is also called “ghosting.” It’s a mean, mean thing to do to someone.
This story, or a variation of it is super common and has happened to me more times than I’m excited to admit.
Have you ever experienced this? It’s one of the most frustrating and confusing things that can happen while you’re dating (or even in a relationship for that matter). While you can’t control why the other person has departed, you can control your reaction.
Here’s what to do when someone you were dating disappears into thin air.
1. Let it go.
It might have been the most amazing, thrilling wonderful time you’ve ever had. You might have gotten your hopes up big time. You might have been hoping there might be a future. Trust me, I completely understand. I’ve done it too.
No matter. Someone who clearly doesn’t care enough about your feelings to honor you with sharing his pending departure isn’t worth any more of your time. The reason’s don’t matter.
2. Do not text bomb.
If he’s dead, he can’t respond to your messages anyway. If you are being ghosted, you have probably already called or texted once or twice just thinking that things were normal. When he doesn’t respond at all. Leave it at that. Once or twice makes sense, and puts the ball into his court. If he doesn’t respond to you… ever, you have your answer.
3. Have a no repeat policy.
Since you’ve moved on and are no longer even wondering what happened, wishing and hoping that he’ll return, even if he does pop up in say, two months, vow never to waste your time. Your time is way, WAY too valuable to let him parachute back into your life randomly.
This has also happened to me, and it STILL makes me shake my head wondering WTF. It’s best not to get caught up in the reasons, it will make your head pop off.
4. Don’t let this be a reason to give up.
The best way to handle completely hurtful disappearances is not to give up on love, dig a hole and go lie in it. Do not decide that dating is over for you and vow never to try again. I’ve personally felt like giving up after one too many guys thought that the right thing to do was never call again. It sucks. I know how you feel.
However, I want better for you. Get back up on that horse and keep trying. Don’t let someone not caring enough to even venture an explanation be the reason why you have lost six months in your search for love.
