Finding out that you’re being cheated on is miserable. It’s as though the rug has been pulled out from under you. Trusting again is a minefield, and you’re left wondering what exactly to do about the whole thing.
What if you’re not sure whether he’s cheating on you or not? Unfortunately there are some tell-tale signs of cheating to look out for. Keep in mind while reading this list that some of these are more obvious than others, and if you suspect that something is going on, it’s worth having an adult discussion.
1. He’s got a sudden renewed interest in his appearance.
This might include a new gym routine, better hygiene (more showers, particularly right when he gets home), experimentation with new grooming products and new clothes. The spare tire that he used to complain about (but didn’t fix) has started to disappear. He has started to carry himself differently, in a good way.
The same kind of stuff that someone does to impress a new flame in the mating dance.
2. His daily routine has changed.
If he’s smart and has thought about this, he will introduce new changes slowly- without a recognizable pattern. The changes will add up to him spending less time at home. He might be working later, have renewed his interest in an old hobby or kicked off a new gym routine.
3. His taste in music changes suddenly.
When we like someone new, often we absorb their taste in music by simple virtue of being exposed to something we haven’t heard before. This odd sign of cheating is best demonstrated in his car, or in
4. He guards his technology protectively.
His phone is suddenly never left in view and he protects his computer passwords with more vigor than a mama bear.
5. His finances are a mystery.
Sometimes mysterious charges show up on your joint accounts or those “work lunches” get much more expensive. If you don’t already share finances, he’s likely to be even more protective and secretive about his finances. It won’t add up.
6. Work has “gotten crazy.”
The key to this one is that his job used to be predictable but now it isn’t. There is suddenly a lot of overtime he can and does stay for.
7. The scent of suspicion.
If he doesn’t do the “come home and shower immediately” routine, lingering perfume can be a real tell-tale sign that he’s stepping out on you.
8. His mood is a mess.
He suddenly seems like Mr. Hot and Cold. Whether he’s being markedly nicer to you or flying off the handle a lot more often, there is something about his mood that just seems different and well… different and off. He might have become combative and started picking fights. Some men will even stoop so low as to start a fight with you so that they can storm off… right over to the other woman’s house.
9. He’s gotten a new “friend” at work.
Has he started gushing about a co-worker? Does he mention repeatedly spending lunches with someone new?
10. He’s suddenly interested in car-related primping.
Before he might have been content with creating an Eiffel Tower of take out boxes in the back seat of his car. Suddenly he’s become Mr. Clean and refuses to let you leave so much as a cardigan on the backseat. If you have young kids, it might seem like he tries to get you to move their car seats to your car— or they keep getting sneakily repositioned.
11. Hair.
This one is cliche and obvious but I had to include it. If you find another woman’s hair on him or around your home, it’s a potential danger sign. Be really careful with this sign of cheating though, since an isolated incident can be chalked up to bad luck.
12. You catch him lying more often.
Sooner or later, you’re likely to catch him stretching the truth. Unfortunately lying also leaves clues. Find out the signs he’s lying.
13. Your sex life is on fire or totally dead.
Both of these situations are signs that he’s cheating. He might feel more confident and seem to be on fire sexually, or he might have quit initiating sex completely. Either one is a red flag that trouble is on the horizon.
14. He has become suspicious of you.
Since he’s devoting time and energy to sneaking around, he might become suspicious that you’re sneaking around as well. Once someone makes a habit of being unfaithful, it sets them up to look for signs that you’re doing the same. This can also be a way that they sabotage the relationship in order to make an exit.
15. He has sudden doubts about the future of your relationship.
Depending on the stage of the relationship that you’re in, your guy used to talk about getting married or growing old together. When he used to seem certain that things were going to go the distance, now he feels hesitant. If you used to think a proposal might be coming, now it feels solidly out of reach.
16. He feels withdrawn and distant.
The little, sweet moments that you used to share have gotten few and far between. It feels like he makes a lot less time for you and there is an overall sinking feeling that he just isn’t there for you like he used to be.
17. Your gut says something is off.
If you’re reading this article, it’s likely that you already sense that something is off between the two of you.
