Question: I have this really big problem that seems to be hampering any chance that I have to get a girlfriend or even get dates. No matter what, the moment that I start to feel like I really like a woman, I get extremely shy. I don’t know why that is. It’s like I just close up and have nothing to say. I know that this is a big problem. I’ve even had women tell me that I am cute, but way too quiet. If I could just find a way to get over being shy like that around women I like, I am sure that I could have a girlfriend. Is there any hope for me?
Answer: I know what you are going through. All guys feel that way to some extent, but some guys feel it to the extreme and it sounds like you are one of those guys. There are some things that you can do that will make it a little bit easier, but one thing that you should be aware of is that it takes some time. There is no red pill that you can take that will suddenly make that problem of being shy around women you like completely go away.
Here are two tips that I think should help you out if you are shy around women you are attracted to:
1. Stay in the present moment and try to stay external.
What I mean by this is, a lot of extremely shy goes go inside of themselves right away when they meet a woman they like. All of a sudden, their mind is racing fast and they are already thinking about dating that woman they like before they even speak to her or get to know her really well. Stay in the present moment. Don’t think about what will happen later on, just think about getting to know her. Another thing that a lot of shy guys do is that they go internal and that is what creates that feeling of not having a thing to say. They may be listening to the conversation that is going on around them, but they are in their mind analyzing everything. You have to try to stay external as much as you can.
2. You need to gradually build up your social experience with women.
I used to be really shy around pretty women and the reason for that was, I didn’t know any. Not on a friend level or even a level where I regularly socialized with good looking women. So, the moment that I was around a good looking woman, I was out of my comfort zone and I didn’t really know what to do. What helped was that I started to make friends with good looking women. And the intention was really just friendship, not to try and play the friend in order to hook up with them. As I got more and more used to socializing with them on a regular basis and going out on the town, I found that it became my comfort zone. So, today I am totally comfortable around good looking women.
