A true tale of love overcoming all odds... Love Story by Mrs. Spillman
Love comes in many forms. Someone sent this true love story to saltyvixenstories.com. After the story, you will find discussion material for you and your partner.
Dear Salty Vixen, this is my story I want to share with the world. Many years ago, I made a decision I will never regret; I started dating a friend. He wasn't a long-time friend; we had met a short time earlier through mutual friends. I was fourteen years old and he was sixteen. My parents did not like the idea of me dating, yet there was something about him so wonderful that I knew I would be with him always. We dated for a year and a half and it was wonderful. He was also a very hard-working man: I was still in school, but he had quit to work in the coal mines. I know we were young, but we both knew that we wanted to be together always.
After dating for almost two years we both knew what we wanted, so he asked my father on September 13th, 1990 if could we get married. Two days later, on September 15th, we were married at a small church in front of our family and friends. I was sixteen, he was eighteen, and I couldn't have been any happier!
We had a wonderful first year, though it was hard with him working nights and me going to school during the day. He was so loving and caring.
After a while, though, things didn't seem to be the same. We were starting to get a little distant, and a short while later I found out he had cheated on me. I have to admit I made a lot of mistakes too; I wasn't sure how to cope with taking care of the apartment, going to school and also being a wife. But, my heart was broken and I could not stay there any longer. I moved to my father's home and he remained in the apartment we had shared together. I was so hurt and scared that I just wanted to shut the world out. However, I made my mind up to let go and move on with my life. I tried very hard, but I couldn't, because I knew that Roy and I were meant for each other.
A little while later we got together and talked. We ended up moving out of our hometown to try to work our marriage out. Neither of us had ever left our hometown before, so it was a big step. He found work immediately and I started at a new school. I was in my senior year, and had no intentions of quitting. It was very hard at first, as I had never attended school anywhere, but in our hometown. As things progressed, I got a job in addition to going to school, and was really beginning to like the new place. Above all else it seemed that Roy and I, as a couple, were doing great.
In April, I found out that we were expecting our first child and we were both elated. Things continued to go great for a while, but unfortunately the strain of a tough pregnancy was starting to tell; I was sick the whole entire time and also started to get terribly homesick. I know that I was very hateful towards him during that time; I pulled far away from him, and it seemed that the only thing I could think about was the affair that he had in our first year. Of course, I did not tell him what I was feeling and he eventually moved out. I moved back home again. We kept in contact and he always called to check up on me and see if I was doing all right.
After two days of labor, on December 31, 1992 at 5 pm, our son was born. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Roy was there with me and we talked a lot. He was so very proud of our son. After the first night, however, our little boy seemed to be having difficulties and the hospital immediately ran some tests. It was found that he had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage. We were so scared because we didn't understand what was happening to our little boy. The doctors assured us that he would be fine, but he needed to be in neo-natal intensive care for a few days so they could continue to monitor him. I will never forget the moment we walked into that unit and saw our baby boy lying there in that little tent. We both ached so much for him, wanting to be able to make him better, yet at the same time we both felt so completely helpless.
To the doctors' amazement he rapidly grew better each day, and was released after only one week! I was so excited that I was finally going to be able to take our little boy home. Within two days Roy had quit his job and was back home. His first words when he came through the door were to tell me that he was here and that nothing could ever take him away.
Our son grew very strong and was completely healed, as was our relationship; we had become closer and were very happy. He found work here very quickly, which was something he always did, and I was able to stay home with our son. Things were great! We eventually bought our own home and settled close to his parents. The next three years were good, but I still had the affair in the back of my mind and hadn't been able to completely forgive him, as I had claimed to do when it had happened.
On January 24, 1996 we had our second child, a beautiful baby girl. She was very healthy and things were still good between Roy and I. I felt so blessed to have two healthy children and a good husband, yet I still had this problem with the affair, and that caused us problems as a couple. That next year went by quickly. While caring for both the kids and keeping the household running, I had forgotten to take care of my husband. As I look back I see how I had become so distant and uncaring toward him. All because I couldn't accept what had happened between us that first year, even though I had repeatedly told him that I was all right and that all had been forgiven.
I kept pushing him away until we could no longer stand to look at each other. I know he was wondering, and actually asked a few times, why I was doing this, but I couldn't tell him it was something I had supposedly accepted five years earlier! It ended up that I left and moved to an apartment with the kids. He began dating a much older woman and ended up moving in with her. I found out they had been friends for quite a while, but I was never sure if they had actually been together before I left.
We started divorce proceedings, and we were both getting on with our lives. However, the kids were miserable. He was a wonderful father, and they loved and missed him very much. He would see them as often as he could and we were very civil towards each other. I was aching inside, as I loved him so much, yet I had pushed him far away. I began dating a little and it was terrible, I still knew I loved him, but how could I get over these feelings of betrayal, which were even worse now?
When he found out I had begun dating, he came to me and told me how much he loved me and that he knew we could make it work. I wasn't so sure, because of my insecurities, so I told him we could be friends. However, he wouldn't stop at that. He was very determined for us to make it. Eventually, I moved back into our home, but he wasn't living there. He would come and visit a lot, and I ached so badly to tell him how much I loved him, but I couldn't. He was still living with this woman, so I assumed he was happy... soon I found out he was not.
One day, he showed up with everything he owned and told me he would no longer be away from us, even if it meant sleeping in his vehicle outside our home. We sat that night and talked for hours; he had no idea why I had turned on him, and I found that if I had only talked to him, we may have avoided all the hurt we encountered. He admitted time and time again his mistakes and how he wished he could change it all. Our lives changed that evening. We talked each day, about things maybe neither one of us wanted to confront, and we connected in a way we had never done before. I learned more about him in the next few months than I had in our entire marriage. It was as if we had opened up something that had always been there, but neither of us had the courage to open before. It had taken us both, working together to finally accomplish it. Our family had come together, and it wasn't just spoken this time, it was something we felt deeply.
That next year was better than any we had ever had; we were soulmates, being able to talk and listen to each other with understanding and true caring. Everyone around us was amazed at what we had overcome. But most of all, we knew we had grasped onto something that was very precious, and we were never letting go. For once it was as if we were bursting each morning just to talk to each other. He opened up to me and I to him. All our friends told me they were envious of what we had found in each other. It had taken us many years to see it, but we both had known all along it was there, or we would have given up long before.
One morning he had discovered a new song and woke me up just so I could hear it - Amazed by Lonestar. I cried as I listened to the lyrics, not only because he had woken me up just to hear this song, but because I had heard it earlier that week and had thought of him.
As I sit here writing this I become so angry at the years we had wasted by not opening up to each other, for I lost my precious Roy September of 1999 on Labor Day to an ATV accident. There was no time for goodbyes or to tell him one last time how much we loved him; he died instantly doing something he loved. Our children are heartbroken and scared, as I am also. I have so much anger, yet in so many ways I am grateful for the last two years we had. I had found my soulmate, whom was always there for me; I just couldn't always see it. Now he is gone and I can no longer hold him or have those heart-to-heart talks that we had so much enjoyed. In those nine years we were married, I had only really known him for the last two. I know life must go on, but my question is how? How do I help our children through this when I can't help myself? I pretend to be all right yet inside I am aching so much that it hurts to breathe.
So, each day I pray to the Lord to give me the courage to face the day without him, to give me the grace to accept what has happened, and to be thankful for what I do have...two healthy children and a heart full of memories.
I guess what I am writing this for is to tell anyone out there to fight for what you believe is meant to be, and don't ever hold back what you're feeling, I lost seven precious years doing that.
Garth Brooks' song The Dance is about life to me, and sometimes I look at it and see that I wouldn't have changed anything that had happened, because I would have missed The Dance with Roy. Sometimes during that dance we weren't holding each other as closely as we should have, and at other times we were so close that we were one, and that's the part that I couldn't give up. In order to keep these good memories, I have to also keep the bad ones; I just can't dwell on them.
To Roy my husband of nine years, I love you and I know we will be together again. Until then you are in my heart and soul, with each beat my heart makes and each breath that I take.
In memory of Roy Spillman, Sr. whom left us to be with the Lord on September 6, 1999.
Life has an unpredictable way of turning out. You do not want to spend wasted moments with your loved ones arguing or holding back. With this story in mind, take an honest look at your relationship and what you can do to take it to the next level. Below are a series of questions to help guide you.
- How is the past affecting your relationship RIGHT NOW? Are you holding on to all of your partner's past wrongdoings? Maybe it's time to release yourself from the pain, by releasing your partner from the blame.
- When you get upset about something, do you analyze its importance? Will it be something that will still upset you five years from now? Learn to keep perspective on what really matters, and what things just don't. Know when it's not actually "the specific" thing your partner may have done, but rather the message that act has sent you.
- Do you and your partner act like a couple or two completely separate individuals? While it's important to keep your individuality, it is also VERY important to remember you are part of a team. What one does, will affect the other. Include each other on your day-to-day life, decision making and hobbies. If you want to attain the kind of closeness you desire, these elements are extremely important.
- Are you keeping your feelings hidden? Are you sacrificing your marriage for pride? Admit when you're wrong, and don't try to justify it either. If you have something to say, just say it. If you can't communicate with each other then you truly have no business being married.
