Mind over mood isn't a myth or some fancy catchphrase. While many women believe they are at the mercy of their mood swings and hormones, the truth is that the way you think can affect your mood, and by changing your mindset, you can actually change your mood to be better – or worse. That we can change our moods based on the way we think is important, as women are at risk for another few issues involved with moods and mindsets: low self-esteem and depression. Mind over mood techniques can help change many problems women face, like weight gain, shyness, confidence, feeling good about themselves and independence. Learning these techniques is simple, and applying them just takes some practice.
Body Language
As much as our facial expressions and posture send off signals and cues to other people, so do those same expressions send cues to our brain. A frown, for example, held for a few minutes, can effectively start to slowly change a happy mood into one that is more serious or even bad humored. The same goes for body positioning such as crossed arms, hunched shoulders, and a head tipped down.
Try the experiment by sitting on a chair and pretending you're grumpy or ill-tempered, assuming both the position and facial expressions involved. Hold that pose for five minutes, and then see how you feel once the five minutes are up. Most likely, you've experienced a dampening of spirits – and yet, nothing bad has happened to make your mood wither. Mind over mood?
A smile, even a forced one, held for a period of time, will also change a bad mood into a better one. Mind over mood techniques encourage a straight posture, with shoulders back and head up, as well as features that are relaxed and with a bit of a smile. Women who have issues with self-confidence and shyness are often encouraged to portray body language that appears more confident, and the result is that their mood and mindset changes accordingly so that they actually feel more confident.
Negative "Tapes"
Psychologists and therapists commonly mention negative tapes, referring to the fact that women have a tendency to hear a message received from someone else (for example, "You're lazy and good for nothing") and then rewind and replay that message in their minds over and over. Negative tapes serve to reinforce a message, and the more a message is reinforced, the more a person begins to believe it for truth.
A woman who hears that she is lazy and good for nothing may think about it over and over, unconsciously reinforcing it. At some point in the thought process, she may start to feel lazy, and may even begin to think it is true. The more she continues to contemplate, the more she finds reason that she is, indeed, lazy and good for nothing, and so on. Her own mind, if allowed, will begin twisting the words around in many ugly ways.
Considering the amount of messages we receive from the moment we're born to the moment we die, and the number of people in our lives giving us these messages, a negative tape can do a lot of damage to a woman's psyche. Many women with issues such as anorexia, bulimia, low self-esteem, battered woman's syndrome, and others all have one thing in common: strong negative tapes in their minds.
The Power of Positive Thinking
The phrase "power of positive thinking" has been hammered at women through the media so many times that hearing it again may bring a rolling of the eyes, but when you understand the power of negative tapes, you understand the power of positive thinking.
Positive thinking involves changing the negative tapes in our mind to replace them with new messages, ones of positive thoughts that reinforce good things. An example of a positive message would be, "I am smart." A woman experiencing a lack of confidence about her intelligence may have heard the negative message, "You're stupid," at some point and reinforced it. She must start to become aware of the negative tape first, and then replace it with the positive thought, “I am smart.”
This can be difficult. It is very easy to knock someone down, but more difficult for the person to get back up again. The more knocks we take, the less we want to get up, and the result is that we do nothing. Using mind over mood techniques involves a long process of positive thought application to counter negative messages. This is a continuous process, but eventually, the positive messages will take hold.
Once positive thoughts do find root, growth occurs. Slowly, the negative message reduces in intensity and the positive message becomes stronger. The result is a more positive attitude, using mind over mood to change thinking patterns.
Simple Mood Swings
Women all have mood swings. Men do too, but it seems that women suffer from their emotional mood far more than their male counterparts. It is important to remember that a mood swing doesn't mean that psychotherapy is required or that there is an underlying issue of strong negative tapes. Mood swings – occasional ones – are normal. They aren't, however, always pleasant, especially when the shift of mood is one that turns cranky or grumpy.
Using mind over mood techniques can help. Walking around the house banging things and feeling like a thundercloud hangs overhead only serves to increase the small storm's intensity. When a woman starts to feel grumpy, the person does use small negative tapes to tell herself that she is, indeed, grumpy. She may tell others that she's grumpy, and friends or family will confirm that, yes, you are grumpy today.
Sound familiar? Message reinforcement is happening, and a negative tape is playing, asserting time and again that you are grumpy. The mind is controlling the mood, and the person is providing all the fodder it needs.
When this situation happens, use your mind to change your mood. By standing straighter and forcing a smile, your body position will begin to help chase those cranky feelings away.
Putting on a favorite music, even if you don't feel like listening to music at the moment, will help. Within three songs, your mood will have shifted considerably. Changing the task you're doing to another you prefer better, just for a break, can also help. By ensuring that your external environment, your actions, your body position, and your mental tapes are all working towards happier feelings, you will find your mind taking in all that information and your mood shifting back towards something more positive.
A last note about using mind over mood to help yourself feel better: Positive thoughts feed on themselves. The better you feel, the more your mood improves. The more your mood improves, the better you feel. By applying strategies to work towards altering your mood, rather than simply riding it out, you can effectively set yourself on a path of positive thinking that leaves you feeling better. The best thing is that the more you work on mood-changing strategies, the easier it becomes until it is second nature.
