Sex is a big deal, but only because we make it one. Dated beliefs echoed through our schools, faiths and the media shame women for practicing sexuality. Meanwhile, men are asked, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” But sex is a mutually beneficial activity that builds bonds and can be fun. Provided you’ve both consented, if you want to have sex, have sex. And here’s why it’s OK to do so on the first date.
1. Because in 2023, folks are having sex before the first date. It is true, I read on Reddit and across the internet, that many people are likely to have sex before the date even happens. This should be called “fast sex, slow love” trend, many young adults want to discover who the other person is on a physical level before getting all emotional. Why invest so much time in someone who’s bad in bed?
2. Because sex builds bonds. Being physically intimate builds a chemically charged connection, and that sexual compatibility plays a huge role in a relationship’s success. “In this day and age, more people recognize sex as an important component of a successful relationship, not something to be ashamed of,” Harvard social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, PhD told Cosmopolitan. "For those people, it's important to establish sexual compatibility early on, and having sex on the first date may be the right move for them." Do you really want to waste your time with a woman who’s not willing to try anything besides missionary?
3. Because why delay the inevitable? If you’re both totally into each other, sex is going to happen regardless. So why abide by some ominous and unidentified authority’s rules that you can’t have sex until you’ve been out with them a handful of times—or you’re married? If bad sex is a dealbreaker, you’re better off finding this out earlier on.
4. Because having sex relieves sexual tension. Until you’re intimate, sexual tension builds between you both like a giant, ignorant pink elephant. Perhaps after you give into it your desires and get those pre-sex jitters out of the way, you’ll really be able to get to know each other on a deeper level.
5. Because sex is awesome. This is probably the most obvious yet valid point in the entire article. It’s good for you; it releases endorphins, helps you sleep better, kicks headaches, relieves stress. If you both want to have sex, then why the hell don’t you? There is absolutely no reason not to, unless denying yourself sex is a fetish of some sort. And, if that’s the case, you do you.
6. Because maybe that’s all you want. And, news flash, maybe that’s all she wants, too.
