Readers Respond: What’s Bad Sex?

Having chronic illnesses, it is hard to find the "right time" to have sex. Unfortunately, the one who is mostly sick is ME! Haven't quite worked around it yet. Still trying to figure it out. He thinks I am fragile and is afraid to mention it I think. The disconnection is awful! So those of you who are "healthy" think about how difficult it truly is for those of us who have to "plan" our sex lives around our bodies.

—Guest nosex=badsex

disappointing sex

Bad sex is when my man won't touch me.He lies there waiting for me to do things to him which I do because I want to please him. Still won't touch me- folds his arms up over his head. Won't do foreplay so I will be dry and tighter because it feels good to him, even though it hurts me. Lasts about 2 minutes then pulls out turns over his back to me and goes to sleep. I lay there mad and hurt that he does not care if I enjoy it.

—notwhatineed

A Self Centered Partner

bad sex is with a self centered partner who does not move or make a sound but lets me pleasure her when she's on the mood, which means, has a week off and lets work go. She then falls asleep and wonders why I'm a little off by the time she wakes up. I've shown and told her what I like and what turns me on but I need to repeat this nearly every time we have sex. She never initiates and has no imagination what so ever on the subject. Talking about it properly........ laughable. Oh and that my boobs are not sensitive in a sexual manner...... my problem, she'll try to fondle them anyway.

—Guest baffledlesbo

Wrong Focus

When you focus on ideas rather than emotions and sensations.

—Guest

bad sex is....

When your husband doesn't listen when you tell him what you need, won't touch your pussy, kisses and touches everywhere BUT there and it's not like you're dirty as you just had a shower and trimmed... Then he wants you to stroke and suck his cock and give him a titty fuck then puts lube on as you're really dry because you're not turned on AT ALL and figures it makes up for you not being ready. When it just turns into empty meaningless sex that makes you feel empty and used.

—Guest aiesha

It's all in the prep...

Bad breath and no foreplay definitely make for bad eyes closed, face turned, impatient and unsatisfying sex. Rules: shower, shave, brush your teeth, trim your nails, kiss, cuddle, caress and dry hump a bit. It's really not overly complicated.

—Guest Is it over yet?

All Wrong-- Why Am I Doing This??

The man I've been involved with for two years is terrible in bed but thinks he is amazing. His sex education is clearly from misleading porn and his past girlfriends played along (like me?!) and pretended that he was good. In fact, he penetrates WAY too quickly and has no clue about lubrication-- he actually thinks it feels "weird" when a woman is wet and part of his dirty talk is about "fucking for so long" that my pussy gets dry and the friction increases. He has NO idea how bad that feels even though I've said it feels better when lubricated. His oral is SHIT. He barely applies his tongue and moves it around inconsistently-- one lick here-- then up to my mouth-- then back down for another couple of random, off the mark licks. No lapping, gentle sucking, or good old targeted licking. UGH.

—Guest Ugh

Too Fast

Bad sex is when you don't even get time to get into the mood before a man ejaculates then instead of getting back into it he gets up wipes himself than ask if you want to try again.

—Guest Mr.5 mins

Bad sex is self-centered sex.

For good sex, you need to care about what your partner wants, how they're feeling. You need to communicate, to be open-minded, to be able to enjoy intimacy without orgasm being the be-all and end-all. Just enjoy yourself and each other and have fun. 🙂

—Guest Maggie

Learning from Porn

My ex was...just bad. You could tell he learned all of his skills about sex from watching Porn. He could not keep the same strokes going. I don't enjoy those jackhammer strokes. He would lick you until his tongue felt like sandpaper. 5 days of sex and I may have an orgasm once.

—cocoree

Reciprocity

Bad sex is when one partner is not responding to the needs and feelings of the other. When she/he just prefers traditional/missionary sex, that is bad sex.

—Guest bala

Mixed Emotions

Bad sex is when your girlfriend gets so upset that she literally cries because she wants to be pure and she grabs your dick every time you see her, so you touch her back. All this coming back to her crying again because she is impure

—Guest ?

Takes forever to cum....

Bad sex is when he takes forever to cum, and you becomer extremely sore and dry. .........no to mention the frustration that comes into play

—Guest energizerbunnygonewrong

Takes forever to cum....

Bad sex is when he takes forever to cum, and you becomer extremely sore and dry. .........no to mention the frustration that comes into play

—Guest energizerbunnygonewrong

Question Yourself

Bad sex is when in between thrusts and moans your mind is questioning why he deserves to have you. Its when you realize that besides a few laughs the only relationship you have with him is sex. Bad sex is when you want ALL of him and he only wants your vagina and your shoulder to grasp. Bad sex is when you lose your virginity to a man who was rough and impatient, one who forced himself in.

—Guest guest