Women can say they love the strong, silent type all they like, but even the few who actually mean it will eventually crack one day and shout, "Say something, will ya? Speak!" Fact is, holding a conversation is a must. I mean, it's a must in life, boys. But, for now let's stick with as it pertains to a lovely back-and-forth with a woman you've just met. And we're talking beyond flirty banter, loaded with sexual innuendo and pseudo-teasing. A real catch? Yeah, she's gonna want to have a real conversation. At some point anyway. With that in mind, here are some subjects you gotta be able to at least hold your own on...
1. Yourself:
Surprised? But, really, this is where we have to start, and don't get it twisted: This is not a pass to just talk about you all night (many a woman's biggest complaint regarding those first few dates). That's not what I mean when I say "yourself." Can you actually genuinely talk about you? If she lobs the "tell me about you" grenade into the center of the table, will you recoil with age/rank/serial number tripe? Be ready to tell her maybe something that had a profound effect on you as a kid (in a positive way), a bit about your job and where you hope it will eventually lead you, where you land in your family (third boy, only child, etc.), and so on. If it turns into a questionnaire, well, she's a "penny for your thoughts" gal and they can break the steeliest of men
2. The City You Share:
Playing the naive "show me around town" guy is OK... if you're naive and need to be shown around town. Otherwise, know your shit. Bust out a nugget that she doesn't know. And don't make it up. We've all seen what happens when you tell a girl "San Diego means whale's vagina." They can smell a fabrication from a mile away when it comes to the place they are either now, or have always, called home. You don't need to have an affinity for the place (although I'd caution against expressing a desperate need to get outta there, too), but bringing up interesting spots that she's had her own great experiences at, or never heard of and now you can go there together... Well, that's called "jackpot."
3. The World:
The "I have to turn off the news" routine, popular with young (and I mean young men) dissipates fairly quickly. It straight-up dies during college, but can be revisited—briefly—in the first year or two after, max. Feigning being too emotional to take the truths of the world on makes for decent high school poetry but not much more. Mind you, you need not go deep, as in the body count of a recent air strike or the nickname for a village on the outskirts of a country you're not sure even exists. But, if a hurricane just ravaged Texas or Florida, for Pete's sake know it, man. If rioting in an American city is going on for days, body count rising, looting at a fevered pitch, know that this is going on and, what's more, know where. You can cop to never having been there, and not even knowing what started it all; no one's asking you to lie. Just know what's been on every front page for the past four days.
4. Your Family:
Odd, right? Who isn't totally up to speed on their own family? Sadly, many. And then there are the aloof dudes who think that one-word answers and I dunno's make them come off as cool and not "all up in their siblings' business." But, it's not only in your best interest to be able to say what your sister does for a living and how your father's retirement is going; it's also a subtle reminder that it might be cool to ask her some of the same questions about her own family. Outside of the ass element, though, seriously: You should want to know what's up in your family's life.
5. Pop Culture:
Being able to rattle off the tunes and TV shows that ruled the same year that you were a senior in high school—incidentally, the very year yourself ruled—only tells her you are stone cold stuck in the past. Don't be Al Bundy, dude. I mean, talk up those four touchdowns in a single game, if you'd like, but you can't be talking about “ Did you know the crazy thing Britney Spears did today? Woah…”
6. Kardashians:
I don't care if you hate them. I don't care if you love them. You just better know them. Look, the possibility exists that very woman you're looking to impress just might detest them herself (she'll at least have a favorite), but if Kanye's in-laws get brought up you can't be sitting there thinking "Kardashian" is an adjective and that it pertains to a manner in which one performs a task. Knowing too much about the Kardashians, on the flipside, can play out two different ways: She could deem you a slacker who's on Kendall's Insta all day long, or it could assist in closing that deal right then and there, bro. BTW: My fave is Kourtney.
7. Coffee:
Do you have to have an in-depth knowledge of the region in Yemen where the first coffee plant was found or be capable of quite the Robusta versus Arabica debate? Of course not (although it wouldn't hurt—especially if you start playing Jeopardy! together). But an ability to talk coffee to the extent of latte versus frap, flavored versus black, are we in the midst of a pumpkin rebellion—this is "must" territory. Have a favorite place. And if yours is Dunkin' while hers is Starbucks, so be it. Even better: Know a ma and pa coffee spot, off the beaten path, oozing local charm and history? She'll flip.
8. Books:
Hell yeah, fellas: literature. Now, don't run out and commit 50 Shades of Grey to memory (although the movies are actually far better than you've probably been led to believe), or anything with Harry Potter or Fabio on the cover. Just be able to join in the fray. While she raves about Meg Cabot's latest there is no reason you can't talk about how Fight Club changed the way you thought about books forevermore. In fact, that line alone could get you some.
9. This Is Us:
OK, admittedly, now I'm putting you out on a limb. I'm generalizing like a son of a bitch. But I stand by it: Know at least enough when you watch popular TV series, such as This is Us, (remember that show?) the dad's death is a mystery and it's "all the rage." Sure, so is Game of Thrones (yes , I know the shows are no longer on but still are great topics to talk about). There's tons of television to know about, and we already covered it in the pop culture slide, but this is me getting downright specific. Right now, know this show. Any dates from now until at least the end of 2018 make sure that you are able to drop some knowledge on the NBC hit. At least five minutes worth. And "Mandy Moore is hot" won't be enough
10. Travel:
Again, you don't have to have just gotten back from a spontaneous jaunt to Ireland. You don't have to have a trip to Turkey "just because" planned for the fall. You just need to be able to talk about travel—and enthusiastically, too. You have to be able to register when one locale is absolutely mind-blowing (Thailand), and refrain from groaning when another doesn't even necessarily qualify as travel (Cancun). Even if travel has become something you detest, regale her with the tales of the trips you took in the past, and listen intently if she's got any trips she'd like to share. Or even just talk dream trips. Even the most weary and jaded traveler still has at least one bucket list trip in mind.
